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originally posted in:The New Dojo
10/25/2017 11:46:06 PM
1
"Long Island? Zeetie, you are on ze vong planet. You are on Tatakai, not Earth. And you're probably nezer going back to your home planet. People don't like ozers leaving out of ze blue. Vou're probably going to be here for a vile."
[b]She slowly began to lead him in a different direction, seemingly to nowhere. Nothing was really in view yet.[/b]
"Vollow me. Ve vill get you zomevere to ztay until zou can zink zomezing up."
English
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He followed, with more questions, "What do you mean we're not on Earth?! Is this some sort of trick pulled off by those Hermes kids? Please tell me I'm not dreaming!" He demanded.
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"I mean ve aren't on Earth. Ve are on Tatakai. No, zis is not a trick from ze zons and daughters of Hermez, zey aren't clever enough to pull zomezing zis elaborate. And you are not dreaming."
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"That portal-spawning b***h sent me to another planet," he said.
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"Yes, yes. Vell, zat doesn't veally matter. You're here now, and are going to be here vor ze next long vile. People never leave here very fast."
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"She even took my Dramchas," he muttered.
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"You Greeks and your outdated coin. Use zome actual money and zee vere zat gets you. You vill have much more cash."
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"Hey! U.S. Dollars can't buy ambrosia!" He argued.
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"Yes, but it can buy cocaine and kool-aid powder, vich makes about ze zame thing if you cannot die by conventional means like me."
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"Don't do drugs," he told her, using a bit of charmspeak, "I'm merely a demigod."
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"I'll do vatever I please, young man. Vour demigod powers don't vork on homunculi vho have gone zough mental torture vou couldn't dream up in vour vildest dreams. Plus, it vas just a joke. Drugs don't do much vor me anymore." [b]If he knew what a homunculus was, he'd know that mind-altering forces do not work on them, for homunculi have no true consciousness.[/b]
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"I have no idea what that is," he admitted.
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"A homunculus is a being created by putting human zperm inside of a horse. After three hours, ze horse is split open and zat makes a homunculus. Homunculi melded vith existing people lose their zouls. Ve have more zan vone source of consciousness, zo mind altering zings do not vork on us."
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"Ah. Okay." He seemed nonchalant as he said this.
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"Ve have a very long valk ahead of us. So, you have any more questions?"
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"Yeah, how the f**k did you find me?" He asked.
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"I vas on a valk and you vere vandering around like an idiot."
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"Oh wow. I wonder what I did to piss the Fates off," he muttered.
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"You do vealize zat everyzing zat you hold dear is just using you, vight? You zink ze Greek gods have a zingle shit about ze Greeks? Or you? Nein. So ze dates probably had nozing to do vith it. It vas probably just neglect. And you can't zay I'm vong, you know it's true."
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"I know. But we saved their asses from the Giants and Gaea. So it's kinda weird."
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"You mean ze Titans. It's like you don't even know your own history." [b]She chuckles.[/b]
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"We beat the Giants, too."
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"Giants are little bitches compared to Kronos and his crew."
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"Good point," He reasoned.
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"Vell... Do you have a bank account or zomezing or am I going to need to bust into my account?"
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"No."
