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originally posted in:The New Dojo
10/21/2017 7:45:02 PM
1
"Huh.... I guess it wasn't lying..."
He walks over to it.
"So... did you feel that or do you not feel pain since you're a sword?"
English
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"It didn't hurt...but it's still annoying to be thrown." The sword sighed. "As if I wasn't already dirty from being buried, but now you're throwing me into mud."
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"I would wash you off but that feels wrong."
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"Why? Just wash me off with some water or something."
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He picks it up and starts walking around trying to find water. "So... can you see? And how can you hear and talk without ears or a mouth?"
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"F*cking magic. And yes, I can see. Now, after you wash me off would you mind finding me a better owner than yourself?"
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"Ummm excuse you?" He stops. "There is NO-ONE better than me at ANYTHING. Got it?"
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"I can guarantee you that I'm better at chess than you. I'm probably even a better fighter than you in this state actually."
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"Ok... I will NOT raise a disrespectful sword." He shoves it in the dirt and then starts digging a hole a few feet away.
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"You're going to rebury me?" The sword vanished for a second before Tubbs suddenly felt the sword fall on his head with a thud. "Screw you."
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"If you could do that the whole time why didn't you go wash yourself and get out of the ground by yourself?"
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"Cool down and I can't move through the ground. It's easier if someone else were to wash me. Now, shoo! You might scare away a good owner."
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"If you can't move through the ground and I just shoved you in the dirt then how did you get out this time?"
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"You shoved some of my blade into the ground, most of me was still sticking out. It wasn't like earlier where only a small amount of me was sticking out."
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"..." ... "It can be." He tried to grab the sword again.
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The sword vanishes again and now it sits on the top of a nearby tree. "Go away! I'm not going back in the ground!"
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"How'd you end up there anyways?"
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"I can't even remember because of how long it has been. I think some jack*ss adventurer didn't like my advice or something and stuck me in there."
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"..." ... "...sounds like a real jerk..."
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"Yeah, no one seems to ever appreciate my help. They just say I nag too much and that I'm like a wife without any of the good parts."
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"How are you even alive?"
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"What do you mean?"
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"Swords aren't normally able to talk, see, and hear. How can you?"
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"I put myself in this sword a long time ago....I wasn't always a sword."
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"Wow... that's deep, edgy, and cliche."
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"Edgy because of the pun? Hey, I'm not gonna be all angsty about it or anything. Just what happened."
