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Edited by LiftedElf235165: 10/17/2017 2:11:25 AM
1
Well when I was kid I'd take a trip every summer, down to Mississipp. To visit my granny in her ante bellum world. I'd run barefooted all day long, climbing trees free as a song. One day I happened catch myself a squirrel. I stuffed him down in an old shoebox, punched a couple holes in the top and when Sunday came, I snuck him into church. I was sittin way back in the very last pew showin him to my good buddy Hugh, when that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk! Well what happened next is hard to tell. Some thought it was Heaven others thought it was Hell. But the fact that something was among us was plain to see. As the choir sang "I Surrender All" the squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls Harv leaped to his feet and said, "Somethin's got a hold on me! YEOW!" The day the squirrel went berserk, In the First Self-Righteous Church in that sleepy little town of Pascagoula. It was a fight for survival, that broke out in revival. They were jumpin pews and shouting Hallelujah! Well, Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin' Some thought he had religion Others thought he had a demon And Harv thought he had a weed eater loose in his Fruit-Of-The-Looms He fell to his knees to plead and beg And the squirrel ran out of his britches leg, Unobserved, to the other side of the room All the way down to the amen pew, Where sat Sister Bertha better-than-you, Who'd been watchin' all the commotion with sadistic glee But you should've seen the look in her eyes When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs She jumped to her feet and said "Lord have mercy on me" As the squirrel made laps inside her dress She began to cry and then to confess to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame She told of gossip and church dissension but the thing that got the most attention Was when she talked about her love life And then she started naming names! The day the squirrel went berserk. In the First Self-Righteous Church in that sleepy little town of Pascagoula. It was a fight for survival, that broke out in revival. They were jumpin pews and shouting Hallelujah! Well seven deacons and then the pastor got saved and 25, 000 dollars got raised. And 50 volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot. and even without an invitation there were at least 500 rededications. And we all got re-baptized whether we needed it or not. Now you've heard the Bible stories I guess of how He parted the waters for Moses to pass. All the miracles God has brought to this ol' world. But the one I'll remember to my dyin day is how he put that church back on the narrow way with a half-crazed Mississippi squirrel The day the squirrel went berserk. In the First Self-Righteous Church Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula. It was a fight for survival, that broke out in revival. They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!
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