I understand your pain, not so much myself, but my wife and are both D1 players from the beginning, have done all the raids etc. However, my wife has some serious anxiety and stress problems so she only likes to join with people she knows. We have a regular team that we have played with for about 3 years now and they are good friends and they understand. Sometimes if our team is not available I've asked her if she wants to find some people to join up with and do some activities, but it fills her with dread the thought of needing to join up with strangers. She seems to think that if she messes up, or dies etc that people might be mean, or rage, or insulting and she just can't do it. Some people are just like that. She is actually a really good player, never quits and will do whatever is asked of her until she gets it right, but she still feels that if she makes a mistake everyone will judge her.