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Edited by Morrison1976: 9/14/2017 4:06:44 PM
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I understand your pain, not so much myself, but my wife and are both D1 players from the beginning, have done all the raids etc. However, my wife has some serious anxiety and stress problems so she only likes to join with people she knows. We have a regular team that we have played with for about 3 years now and they are good friends and they understand. Sometimes if our team is not available I've asked her if she wants to find some people to join up with and do some activities, but it fills her with dread the thought of needing to join up with strangers. She seems to think that if she messes up, or dies etc that people might be mean, or rage, or insulting and she just can't do it. Some people are just like that. She is actually a really good player, never quits and will do whatever is asked of her until she gets it right, but she still feels that if she makes a mistake everyone will judge her.
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  • It is the awkwardness of the situation. Exactly why I (female) only play with my twin sister. Like your wife, we both have serious anxiety and stress about playing with strangers. The very first time I tried a Strike in D1, I got a message saying "you are the worst ever." I responded back and said, I had no idea what to do or what was going to happen. He or she did come back and say its all good...but getting that message made me feel bad (I mean it wasnt the end of the world because I am prolly old enough to be the kids mother, but still) :-). We are not the best players, we used to run through Night Falls Strikes just because it wasnt matchmaking and some days we would die 10 times, but we didnt care because we had no one depending on us to get it done (super stressful). Yes its nice to finish something, but some fireteams out there can sure suck the fun out of the way we like to play. Oh and one more thing...I also found that if you have your own terms for items or supers, that is sometimes frowned upon as well. Example: blue ball, purple ball, walrock "sparkles", little monsters, yellow monsters, gun, hat, sleeves, pants etc. :-) Glad there are so many people like us out there.

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  • The truth of the matter is, there will always be people that measure their life achievements by their successes in video games. Sad but true. Like the bone head that sent you that message. The good news is, for every one of them, there are 10 that love to share the experience with strangers. just kicking back, shooting and blowing stuff up with out really hurting anyone. Don't judge us all by the actions of a few bone heads.

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  • Could not agree more. My wife loves the game, grinds really hard to get all the good stuff. She really loves stuff like the nightfalls and raids and she is no worse than most players i've played with. She just likes to have fun.

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  • Edited by LirraaK: 9/15/2017 3:10:19 PM
    @Morrison1976 this is also why I can't play with strangers. I really don't know how normal people do it.. how do you interact with people and make it look easy.. my whole life I've spent being friendless. and playing alone. with just 2 ppl I used to play darksouls with for a little but but only texting. (not at the same time(andmostly because I'm the veteran in that situation and they put in a lot of effort to try and make me a "friend" :p)) it's like.. there's a secret thing you have to do to be able to have friends.. and no one ever wants to share that secret...

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  • [quote]@Morrison1976 this is also why I can't play with strangers. I really don't know how normal people do it.. how do you interact with people and make it look easy.. my whole life I've spent being friendless. and playing alone. with just 2 ppl I used to play darksouls with for a little but but only texting. (not at the same time(andmostly because I'm the veteran in that situation and they put in a lot of effort to try and make me a "friend" :p)) it's like.. there's a secret thing you to do to be able to have friends.. and no one ever wants to share that secret...[/quote] Totally agree.

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  • You just need a clan and youll always have sombody down to join you every second of the time your on the game

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  • We do have a clan, but it's pretty limited, only 8 members I think, 2 of which have not yet bought D2. It's not a huge problem as we have friends she is comfortable with, but ask her to join some randoms in a game and the anxiety just gets too much and she can't do it. We have played numerous games that require teams and its always the same, she always gets really stressed that people are going to think she is a bad player, or they will be insulting or whatever, she just can't do it. It was even worse when we got into the Division for a while (I know, but it was fun for about a month) in the Division they made it really easy to match make a 4 person team for many activities, but she just could not bring herself to do it as she didn't want to talk to people she did not know. It seems crazy to most people, but I've learned to live with it (been together for 22 years so I think I understand her now, maybe) :-)

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  • Hi there! So i just wanted to jot a quick note here because i know exactly where you guys are coming from. I recently started a clan for exactly this reason. The entire premise of our clan is along the lines of "hey lets play destiny for fun, and not because we need to be better." weve been steadily accumulating more and more people (because it turns out people want to just enjoy the game. go figure.) and we built a friendly chat room on Discord (allows for actual chatting, and making friends :) ). I just wanted to extend a friendly welcome to you and your clan if you like. We're just a bunch of adults playing a video game and not taking it too seriously hahaha. Feel free to join us if you like, if not we'd love to set up some clan co-operation so we casuals can all attempt nightfalls and raids and such. ~Wizard Degree of Irony [DGRI]

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  • Thank you for your understanding. Its because of people like you that I love this game. There are some really great players out there and most people are very friendly and patient. Its just the idiots out there that take it all far too seriously and start to become abusive and annoying. Unfortunatly it only takes one idiot to be like that and my wife will quit and never want to try it again.

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  • My biggest problem is that I can never seem to find people like you guys in this set of replies. Seriously, where are you all hiding... I would actually love a group of people like you that are more mature, calm and down to earth to play D2 with but I don't have any connections in-game and all I ever seem to find is younger people who are loud, abusive and frankly just too much. I used to play with my partner, my friend and his wife. My partner is not getting Destiny 2 and my friend and his wife won't be either. Primarily because so often the people on our games were straight up offensive towards the female players, either because of their immaturity or their lack of experience when communicating with women. I was the only one of us that loved on to destiny 2. I would love to have a regular team of more mature, respectful players who are looking to have fun, but finding anyone like that is hard enough, let alone finding enough to make a team for Raids etc.

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  • all too true unfortunately.. (the part about other players I mean)

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  • I was lucky in D1 that we made some great friends that still play today and have moved to D2 with us, however several of our original team have not moved on to D2 and I don't know if they will. I would be delighted to have you join us, however it seems you are on PS and I'm on Xbox so that will never happen. Good luck with your hunt for some players that aren't idiots and you find a cool and chilled team to play with. I guess I'll need to start recruiting for our Clan, there are only 5 of us left, going to need a few more in the future. Hopefully I can find some great, chilled gamers like you to join up.

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