{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
originally posted in:The New Dojo
7/12/2017 12:19:39 AM
1
"Then let me die."
[b]He drew his sword, and plunged it into his own chest. Fire and shadow leaked from the wound, and he began to die[/b]
[spoiler]"He is coming for us. Everything will burn."[/spoiler]
English
-
[quote]"Then let me die." [b]He drew his sword, and plunged it into his own chest. Fire and shadow leaked from the wound, and he began to die[/b] [spoiler]"He is coming for us. Everything will burn."[/spoiler][/quote] The apparitions drew closer. They grabbed and clawed and groped and clenched. Fiery blood spilled onto the figure from all directions, as if gravity had no place here. The disembodied voice whispered again, "From whom do you take YOUR life? take and Take and TAKE!!! This is why, you are not Void."
-
[b]His voice was calm, even, and fine[/b] "You don't understand. I've given more than anyone. [i]I[/i] am the formless, [i]I[/i] am the deep. And what are you? You've taken everything there is to take. And for that, you are not Void." [b]And the fire and shadow drew back into his form, then exploded outwards, breaking the dark power's hold[/b]
-
Edited by MuKoKu: 7/12/2017 12:52:11 AM[quote][b]His voice was calm, even, and fine[/b] "You don't understand. I've given more than anyone. [i]I[/i] am the formless, [i]I[/i] am the deep. And what are you? You've taken everything there is to take. And for that, you are not Void." [b]And the fire and shadow drew back into his form, then exploded outwards, breaking the dark power's hold[/b][/quote] Apparitions still clawed and cried out, surrounding the figure. The "light" of the apparitions clouded the figure's vision. Their weights burdening him. "What you gave was not YOURS to give," the goblin whispered. "A form you have, for you exist. Your depth has shallowed, filled with what you have TAKEN, that which was not yours to TAKE. We are not who you think we are. We are what you have forgotten. We are what you have taken." From quick glimpses through the crowd of ghosts, the figure could see the Balrog standing in the distance. Arms were folded, and his head was cocked to the side in a confused posture. It's skin lightly glowed like dimmed embers. The darkness field was no longer in effect. The Uruk-Hai, goblins, and Trolls were nowhere in sight.
-
"I have not taken you. I gave you to the Void, the formlessness, to unlock the final plane. But your right, I have lost myself. I've been in my pretender form for far too long."
-
Edited by MuKoKu: 7/12/2017 1:15:20 AM[quote]"I have not taken you. I gave you to the Void, the formlessness, to unlock the final plane. But your right, I have lost myself. I've been in my pretender form for far too long."[/quote] "But you have," the voice continued. "Denial will not save you. What is more, what you have taken... you cannot give back. Also.... [b][i][u]you're[/u][/i][/b]..." The Balrog shuttered and subtly shook his head. He approached the DOJO gates. As he was about to pass the figure, he stopped and gave a short bow of pity before moving on. He stood at the gate's "doorstep" and knocked.
-
Edited by Wheatley: 7/12/2017 1:20:31 AM[b]And then something changed, as if he had woken up from an eternal slumber[/b] "Then let the world burn." [b]He stood, and clenched his fist. The resounding wave burned and destroyed all of the apparitions. He was different. He was free[/b] [spoiler]The real version of him has arrived[/spoiler]
-
[quote][b]And then something changed, as if he had woken up from an eternal slumber[/b] "Then let the world burn." [b]He stood, and clenched his fist. The resounding wave burned and destroyed all of the apparitions. He was different. He was free[/b] [spoiler]The real version of him has arrived[/spoiler][/quote] The apparitions evaporated. For a moment, the figure could see the trees in the distance. The cool breeze. The gentle pull of gravity. The rustling on leaves. Then suddenly, the same apparitions rematerialized. Only this time, they were accompanied by millions. The silence shattered with screams of helpless women and females. They approached the figure. The "lights" from so many were almost blinding. The sound of cries, cacophonous. After no immediate answer, the Balrog glanced back at the figure. After growing more aware of his own guilt and shame, he turned back to the gate and called out to anyone who would hear. [spoiler]This subthread will run sort of parallel to another, fyi.[/spoiler]
-
[spoiler]Cool[/spoiler] [b]He felt nothing. He clenched his fist, and burned them again. Then he began to walk towards the Balrog[/b] [spoiler]Don't try that again [/spoiler]
-
[quote][spoiler]Cool[/spoiler] [b]He felt nothing. He clenched his fist, and burned them again. Then he began to walk towards the Balrog[/b] [spoiler]Don't try that again [/spoiler][/quote] Tens of millions of apparitions reappeared. Howls and shrieks of creatures sounded out along with the rest. The goblin's voice whispered again, "This curse on your head is what you have bought. For eternity, now, your mind will rot. To each of us, you have given no thought. And now... you must suffer... ALL you have wrought. You are not the Void; but [b][i][u]It[/u][/i][/b] IS coming..."
-
[b]Only then he realized he was trapped[/b] "Then take me. Let the darkness devour me, so I may serve the Void." [b]He opened his arms[/b]
-
Edited by MuKoKu: 7/12/2017 3:18:31 AM[quote][b]Only then he realized he was trapped[/b] "Then take me. Let the darkness devour me, so I may serve the Void." [b]He opened his arms[/b][/quote] "Who am I," the goblin whispered." "Merely a messenger am I. Thievery does not balance out thievery. To devour does not balance out what was devoured. You cannot serve the Void. Repent, for you must find another way. Seek it like a drowning man seeks air. Surrender and abandon what you see and value as strength. Embrace weakness."
-
"Then I surrender myself to those I've wronged, so I may begin again." [b]And then he took off his armor, reached into his own chest, and pulled out his heart[/b] "I'm sorry." [b]He fell to his knees, and then he was dead. The immortal, gifted mortality. And not even dark magic could bring him back[/b] [spoiler]But then, in the formless Void of nothingness, he opened his eyes...[/spoiler] [spoiler]That version of him can not be affected by the Balrog's simulated hell[/spoiler]
-
[quote]"Then I surrender myself to those I've wronged, so I may begin again." [b]And then he took off his armor, reached into his own chest, and pulled out his heart[/b] "I'm sorry." [b]He fell to his knees, and then he was dead. The immortal, gifted mortality. And not even dark magic could bring him back[/b] [spoiler]But then, in the formless Void of nothingness, he opened his eyes...[/spoiler] [spoiler]That version of him can not be affected by the Balrog's simulated hell[/spoiler][/quote] [spoiler]It's not the Balrog at all.[/spoiler] The goblin whispered again, "Flesh and blood is a mere manifestation of who you are. We who are no longer flesh and blood are still bound with you, who is also beyond flesh and blood." [i]The cries of billions, now, sounded out. A Dyson's sphere of souls seemed to have materialized. If it could be noted, these cries rang out despite the vacuum realm that the figure awoke in.[/i] It was extremely hard to discern, but the goblin's voice whispered again, "If you wish to escape, you must repent; change your course to the opposing way. It will only get worse from here, should you continue on."
-
Edited by Wheatley: 7/12/2017 3:49:47 AM[spoiler]Scratch that. Mortal form is still alive. Your completely -blam!-ing with my lore system. He really is the vessel for the Void itself. It's not a mere being.[/spoiler] "How?"
-
[quote][spoiler]Scratch that. Mortal form is still alive. Your completely -blam!-ing with my lore system. He really is the vessel for the Void itself. It's not a mere being.[/spoiler] "How?"[/quote] [spoiler]Oh. I apologize. Honestly, this is the best I could come up with for good/decent writing/plot. The stuff in your bio I find equivalent to the problem with Superman writing mechanics. It's seems too OP. What makes characters interesting are weaknesses. Not plot devices, but actual weaknesses and limitations, and how the character gets around them. I say this in the spirit of encouraging criticism of my own experience. This is the most challenging obstacle I could think of for your character I could think of, according to your bio.[/spoiler] The goblin materialized and held out its hand. "Follow me."
-
[b]And then he did[/b]
-
Edited by Wheatley: 7/12/2017 5:25:37 AM[spoiler]Yeah. I do like that idea. Since he is a tool for the Void, we may be able to take advantage of that. Say we sever his connection to the darkness, or maybe even somehow kill him/make him change his ways. That'll give me an excuse to start my new plot. On second thought, I don't really want to give up my character and his current level of power. Any advice?[/spoiler] [b]He did so[/b]
