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7/1/2017 9:41:11 AM
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Guardian down: chapter 5~ The crucible

"So.. what are you doing all the way out here? Isn't this a dead zone?" Yang sighed and shrugged. "I don't know! I was only born a while ago!!" "You were revived, Yang." Hyper corrected her guardian. "Yeah, thank you Hyper. I was revived here, a while ago." "Always happy to help.." Hyper said in a low tone. The conversation cut to a pause as an awkward silence filled the atmosphere. None of the guardians or ghosts knew what to say to each other. Eventually, Moren tried to start a conversation. "Look, we're heading back to the tower. We could always drop you back there too if you'd like. But after that, don't expect any help." Moren said in a harsher language. "Moren!" Electra stood up. "We would be happy to help with any bounties or help you getting better armour" Yang looked down at the armour she had on. Hyper had just put together some field cloth for basic protection. It was true, they needed help to get back to the tower and to learn how to wield light. "Thank you, your help would be really.. appreciated!" Yang added. "Oh great! Moren, summon the ship! We're taking our new friends home." [b][i]A While Later[/i][/b] The two guardians, and the two ghosts, were transmitted out of the ship. They arrived on the hangar bay. There were people rushing around everywhere, trying to do jobs o aid the last city. Electra started to walk off as her ghost followed. "Come on, Yang. I'll show you the vanguard. It's this way." She smiled and turned around. Yang looked at Hyper, who was hovering on her shoulder. "Hyper?" "Yang, what?" "Are these friendly people?" Hyper started to giggle. "Yes Yang! These [i]are[/i] friendly people!" Yang laughed back and pushed her ghost lightly and then followed Electra to the vanguard. "Woah. This place is pretty.. big. And crowded. But I like crowded places. Well, kinda." Yang commented with an awkward giggle. "Ya" Moren flew over. "It's suppose to be big." Suddenly, the room went quiet and everyone looked over at yang. Seeing a new guardian was rare in that time. People weren't expecting to see a new guardian wondering around.. most of all not knowing what class they are. "So.." Electra smiled. "There are hunter, titanic and warlock vanguards here. Go to whichever represents your class." "I.. I don't.." yang edges awkwardly. "I don't know my class yet.. heh" "Oh.." Moren butted in. "We can always come back when she finds out?" "Sure sure" Electra nodded. They walked back out of the vanguard and into the crucible area. "This is the crucible guy.. basically. The crucible is where you can fight with other guardians." Yang looked over and saw a man wearing a helmet. The helmet looked like it was suppose to have two horns.. but it only had one. "Am I allowed to try the crucible?" Yang asked. "Sure.. that's if you would like to die.." "Hyper.. let's go to the crucible." Electra smiled at Moren. "Moren.. set course for the crucible! We can have a game of doubles!"

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  • First bump. Can't wait to find out what class she is. You should try putting more details into the story. Right now it's mostly dialogue, which is great for keeping the story going, but more detail will enhance the readers' experience. Great job

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