originally posted in:The New Dojo
[u][i][b]The Hitchhiker[/b][/i][/u]
[u][i]12:59:59 AM[/i][/u]
[i]The Dojo's Front Gate[/i]
*The air was crisp and cool. Not crisp as in the traditional meaning of the word when using it to describe air, no, crisp like an apple. Granny Smith to be precise. There as a strange feel to the collection of gasses surrounding the Dojo and Dojoville that night. It was thick, if you swung your hand you would almost expect it to make a juicy cracking noise, like if you swung your hand at an apple, only your hand had become a knife which cut through the fruit with mild struggle. Instead you would be disappointed to find that the air had not condensed into and apple and that your hand was not a knife, just your normal hand. It was thick, but not that thick, and rarely did logic and the universe have as vivid an imagination as any living thing with even the most malnourished and stunted of imaginations. In short, logic and the universe sucks.*
*This is not about logic and the universe, nor is it about the thickness of air or Granny Smith apples, this is about a strange furry creature named Terrek, who happened to be lurching up the stairs to the Dojo on the back of a female moose, with a picnic blanket draped over him like a begger would bundle up in a blanket on a street corner to fight off the bitter, freezing winds which nipped at his nose and his exposed toes like rats which had been starved for precisely as long as the begger had been starved, but of course it was not that cold out this night, only cool, but cool was a low enough temperature for Terrek to feel mildly uncomfortable, and so he was bundled up in the picnic blanket in such a way as was described earlier in this mother of all run on sentences that you find yourself reading.*
*One might wonder why Terrek is even in possession of a picnic blanket, and one might wonder what it was like before the Big Bang, or if there is an afterlife, or if Europe really exists. But you shouldn't wonder about things you will never know the answer to, because it will drive you mad. Wait, hold on...... Oh... Alright... There has been a mistake... Terrek has the picnic blanket because he wants to have a picnic with some people in the Dojo. Also, Europe is indeed a myth made up by social justice warriors and communists. Anyways, by now Terrek has made it to the top of the steps where the moose proceeded to die from exhaustion and he laid the picnic blanket over the moose's body before setting up the picnic basket.*
*What? You want a description of his appearance? Your character hasn't even seen him yet, I'm already spoiling you with all this free information your character has no way of knowing, except for the atmosphere part of course, just reply and you'll figure out you brat!*
[spoiler]*Ahem* open[/spoiler]
English
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Garin and Ian poked their heads over the gates to the Dojo and sighed. Another weirdo. "Hey! You! What're you doing here? Eating? No! Do that somewhere else!" Ian looked at the man (?) with pure annoyance.
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Edited by Skatch142: 6/23/2017 4:12:48 PM*He looked as if he had been pulled straight from a 30's cartoon, although obviously that was not the case. There was no specific place where his arms would bend, as they would curve down their whole lengths like a snake or something very snake-like... Perhaps a different snake, a green one maybe? A green one that eats fruit. A green fruit snake... His eyes had that black cake-with-a-slice-cut-out-of-it shape and his face was in possession of a large, oval shaped nose like an otter's, but somehow even more ottery than an otter's nose. The amount of long, curving ears which protruded from the back of his head was two. He wore no clothing except a pair of white, four-fingered gloves and a pair of grey shoes. If one were to look where is privates should be located, they would find none, which must explain why he is wearing no more than shoes and gloves. His fur itself was short, only about an inch long on his whole body.* *He looked up at the two blissfully, giving them a kind look as if to say he doesn't give a godd@&$ s@&$ where he is and isn't allowed to eat... Except, y'know, kindly.* "That does not matter, there is much we must communicate about. Care to join me for some lettuce?" *He pulls a head of lettuce out of the picnic basket and bites straight into it, munching on it hatefully as if the head of lettuce had killed his family and he was angry to consume it for his own nourishment.*
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"No." The duo opened fire on the trespasser with a DMR (Ian) and a laser rifle (Garin). After a few seconds, they stopped. "Leave, trespasser."
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*His fur was spiky now and he looked like he had been charred all over as his body smoked slightly. He shakes off the ash, returning back to his normal look once again.* "I am no trespasser because I am currently outside of the Dojo property line. I am only a hitchhiker, traveling and sharing my knowledge with those who are curious. If you do not care, or your curiosity levels are insufficient for wanting to know my secrets, then please search for a Dojo member, animal, or celestial deity that is in possession of sufficient curiosity." *He didn't even look at them as he spoke, instead opting to look just past them. It somehow made them feel uneasy, although the reason and cause for this reaction were both unknown.*
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"Wh-where are you, mom...?" [i]It was the lonely cry of a young boy, searching for his lost mother; whether it was the mother who was lost, or him, it was uncertain. The boy wandered the dojo courtyard near where Terrek had set up his picnic blanket; he appeared to be around age 13, and was rather tall for his age, at 5'5". He was skinny, also; his body type was a combination between ectomorph and mesomorph. He had a head of pale, blond hair, and smooth, pale skin; his eyes were a solemn aquamarine, however they were fogged over; he wasn't blind, but he clearly had a vision disability. He wore simple, ragged clothes; a torn, dirty white t-shirt, and black sweatpants with holes in the legs. His feet were bare, covered in dirt and soot; multiple scrapes could be seen, however the bleeding had long stopped. The boy continued to wander, slowly aimlessly drawing closer to Terrek.[/i]
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"Hello there young person of whom I know nothing about, would you care to sit and join me in the consumption of organic matter?" *Terrek looked like he had been pulled straight out of a 30's style cartoon. He was covered in black and white fur with his only clothing being a pair of cartoony grey shoes and a pair of four-fingered white gloves. His arms and legs did not seem to have elbows and knees, but instead would bend down their whole length like soggy noodles. His tail was forked at the end, with the top half being black and the bottom half being white. He hat a large nose like an otter and two big, black, cheese-wheel-missing-a-slice eyes like old cartoons. Protruding from the back of his head were two long ears, overall making his head profile look like a severely misshapen hammer. Misshapen to the extent that there was no way someone would think it's a hammer. There was a pair of fur-covered nubs on each cheek, shoulder, and in the center of his chest. And though he wore nothing other than shoes and gloves, he did not seem to have any 'privates' of any kind. Which raised all sorts of questions which don't need to be answered so don't ask. His voice itself was calm and soothing, which was strange since it sounded like he had been smoking since he was a baby.*
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[i]The boy could see Terrek's torso, legs, tail... but couldn't seem to see the features of his face or head. He stared blankly at Terrek's face, almost as though he was staring through the furry. He cautiously approaching the creature; as he drew closer, it was clear that he was entirely unarmed. Of course, because he was only 13.[/i] "Wh-who are you...? Have you seen my mom...?" [i]He asked, his voice shaky and his lips quivering unconsciously.[/i]
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"No, I have not seen your mother, but my name is Terrek and you are safe near me. Please, sit down and eat some food. There are very important matters we have to discuss." *Terrek beckoned the boy. Somehow, his features seemed to focus just enough for the boy to be able to see them. How he did this was unclear, but it was most likely due to his unique perspective on the workings of the universe and his insider information he has on such workings.*
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[i]Even if Terrek's features did focus, Ike had already looked away, silently situating himself on the picnic blanket. He looked around, searching for the food one might bring to a picnic. He did not respond to Terrek after he had said that he did not know where his mother was; the boy seemed to be a rather quiet individual, to say the least.[/i]
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Edited by Skatch142: 6/23/2017 4:17:02 PM*Terrek sets up the picnic basket on a set of four rollerskates. He then shoves it in Ike's direction, causing the basket to roll a whopping four inches before one of the skates catches and the basket overturns, happening to drop a bowl full of Ike's favorite food on his lap along with a bucket full of every eating utensil imaginable landing next to him.* "Just think of the utensil you need and pull it from the bucket without looking." *Terrek was holding a six foot long baguette, at least until he bit off exactly 1.641 feet of one end, leaving it as a 4.359 foot long baguette.*