[quote]Common-folk stared at the unusual stranger strolling towards the dojos gate. Poison didn't mind too much, he's gotten used to it now... Every step clicking on the stones of the pathway, he liked his new Augs he got from RC, the springs in his ankles really made every step feel effortless and as if he were walking on air... Finally, he made the last step until he was met by the massive gate to the Dojo...[/quote] Alright, we'll start off by teaching you some writing styles. You'll want to write in a more separated manner [quote] Common-folk stared at the unusual stranger strolling towards the dojos gate. Poison didn't mind too much, he's gotten used to it now... Every step clicking on the stones of the pathway, he liked his new Augs he got from RC, the springs in his ankles really made every step feel effortless and as if he were walking on air... Finally, he made the last step until he was met by the massive gate to the Dojo... [/quote] Next up, you'll want to try adding a bit more detail in it. [quote] Common-folk stared at the unusual stranger strolling towards the dojos gate. Poison didn't mind too much, he's gotten used to it now... The Common-folk of the Dojoville stared at the unusual man that walked through the streets. Strange green lines, almost like veins ran up and down his body. The man didn't mind the staring though, he had gotten used to it. Every step clicking on the stones of the pathway, he liked his new Augs he got from RC, the springs in his ankles really made every step feel effortless and as if he were walking on air... Every step the figure took was clicking against the stones of the pathway, mostly because of the augments in his ankles. A gift from a friend. These Springs made every step... Effortless and almost made it feel like walking on air. Finally, he made the last step until he was met by the massive gate to the Dojo... He came to a halt, greeted by the massive gates of the infamous "Dojo" [/quote] Finally, if possible, I'd recommend tryout to write in the past tense. But that's not a requirement [quote] Every step the figure took was clicking against the stones of the pathway, mostly because of the augments in his ankles. A gift from a friend. These Springs made every step... Effortless and almost made it feel like walking on air. Every step the figure took clicked against the stones of the pathway, the augments of his ankles being the cause of this. The augments were like Springs, making every step feel... Effortless and almost like walking on air. These specific ones had been a gift from a friend [/quote]