originally posted in:The New Dojo
[b][u]The Stranger[/u][/b]
Common-folk stared at the unusual stranger strolling towards the dojos gate. Poison didn't mind too much, he's gotten used to it now... Every step he made clicked on the stones of the pathway; he liked his new Augs he got from JT, the springs in his ankles really made every step feel effortless and as if he were walking on air... Finally, he made the last step until he was met by the massive gate to the Dojo... He stared up in awe, "So this is the dojo?"...
[spoiler]Closed[/spoiler]
English
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SUCC ME
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[spoiler]Well, we all have a face That we hide away forever And we take them out And show ourselves when everyone has gone Some are satin, some are steel Some are silk and some are leather They're the faces of a stranger But we'd love to try them on[/spoiler] Yes this is the Dojo. *An [url=https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwjfxpPu6MzUAhWJHD4KHbYQDSQQjBwIBA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fvignette2.wikia.nocookie.net%2Fdungeonhunter5%2Fimages%2F3%2F3f%2FGlowing_justicar_arcplate.png%2Frevision%2Flatest%3Fcb%3D20151215193109&psig=AFQjCNG_5QTDCc1rNOoUFLRH_8Oz6nkfsA&ust=1498061699287604]armored[/url] figure walks up behind the person, his gaze unwavering* Who, may I ask, are you?
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Edited by medic: 6/20/2017 4:17:56 PMSry, shouldve specified, this was more for Royal....
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Ah, okay. Sorry about that.
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Youre fine! I'm the one at fault since I didn't specify....
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It's good. Maybe another time
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Definitely.
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[quote]Common-folk stared at the unusual stranger strolling towards the dojos gate. Poison didn't mind too much, he's gotten used to it now... Every step clicking on the stones of the pathway, he liked his new Augs he got from RC, the springs in his ankles really made every step feel effortless and as if he were walking on air... Finally, he made the last step until he was met by the massive gate to the Dojo...[/quote] Alright, we'll start off by teaching you some writing styles. You'll want to write in a more separated manner [quote] Common-folk stared at the unusual stranger strolling towards the dojos gate. Poison didn't mind too much, he's gotten used to it now... Every step clicking on the stones of the pathway, he liked his new Augs he got from RC, the springs in his ankles really made every step feel effortless and as if he were walking on air... Finally, he made the last step until he was met by the massive gate to the Dojo... [/quote] Next up, you'll want to try adding a bit more detail in it. [quote] Common-folk stared at the unusual stranger strolling towards the dojos gate. Poison didn't mind too much, he's gotten used to it now... The Common-folk of the Dojoville stared at the unusual man that walked through the streets. Strange green lines, almost like veins ran up and down his body. The man didn't mind the staring though, he had gotten used to it. Every step clicking on the stones of the pathway, he liked his new Augs he got from RC, the springs in his ankles really made every step feel effortless and as if he were walking on air... Every step the figure took was clicking against the stones of the pathway, mostly because of the augments in his ankles. A gift from a friend. These Springs made every step... Effortless and almost made it feel like walking on air. Finally, he made the last step until he was met by the massive gate to the Dojo... He came to a halt, greeted by the massive gates of the infamous "Dojo" [/quote] Finally, if possible, I'd recommend tryout to write in the past tense. But that's not a requirement [quote] Every step the figure took was clicking against the stones of the pathway, mostly because of the augments in his ankles. A gift from a friend. These Springs made every step... Effortless and almost made it feel like walking on air. Every step the figure took clicked against the stones of the pathway, the augments of his ankles being the cause of this. The augments were like Springs, making every step feel... Effortless and almost like walking on air. These specific ones had been a gift from a friend [/quote]
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Ah, ok, thanks! I usually write in a swperated manner but forgot in this post... I'll keep the other stuff in mind, thanks!
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[spoiler]Alright, now let's get started. [/spoiler] The gates of the dojo opened, and inside the courtyard stood a man in some rather strange armour https://imgur.com/xQTp19X "Welcome, newcomer. I am Marker, Titan Pilot and member of the dojo. Who might you be?"
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Edited by medic: 6/18/2017 8:41:26 PMPoison inclined his head in a sort of nod, replying, "I'm Poison, travelling to join the dojo as recommended by a friend!" Poison balanced on the balls of his feet, swaying, and commented something else, "Titan Pilot? I've only gotten to test ride one of those... Ah, that was a fun ride... Sadly, it wasn't through any combat, just up one lane and down the other..." Poison looked lost in his thoughts as he said this.
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[spoiler]That was alot better!! [/spoiler] "You've been in a Titan before?" Marker asked, glancing Poison up and down in curiosity "You don't look like a pilot, though. Who's your friend? Maybe I know him."
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[spoiler]thanks![/spoiler] "Yeah, but... uhhhh... I wasn't supposed to be in it... Let's just say the guy took it back by force, hehe. I didn't really put up a fight for it, just wanted to see how it felt..." Poison had a haughty smirk on his face... "The only name he ever gave me was Jacob, he gave me a few items and then disappeared... Never saw him again, so I thought I'd follow his advice and make my way here..." Poison looked around in certainty and started fiddling with his thumbs, rather aggressively...
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"Well, you've made it." Marker chuckled lightly, taking a step back and motioning to the courtyard "Now, you just gonna stand outside all day, or are you gonna come inside eventually?"
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"Indeed I have..." Poison said, also chuckling... "And I actually quite like it out here, for your information, haha! I would've gone in sooner, but you were barring the way...!" Poison stated, still chuckling... After a moment's pause, Poison took one step forward and said, "After you?"
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Marker nodded and turned, walking into the rather large courtyard of the "dojo"
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Poison hesitated for a second, and then followed Marker through the Dojo's gates... "So... Uhhh, what's next?" Poison asked, still looking around in awe... Poison's eyes were representing many emotions, the foremost of those being: Relief.
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[spoiler]Back so soon? Lol [/spoiler] "What's next? What did you come to the Dojo [i]for[/i]?" The gates closed as the two entered the courtyard, and Marker stopped, looking over a large cherry blossom tree in the middle of the same courtyard
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Edited by medic: 6/19/2017 4:48:50 AM[spoiler]Its been 7 hours, my question is, isn't it like the middle of the night for you?[/spoiler] Poison followed his gaze, swaying on his feet... "Well, I mean, I came to fight, or well, [b]help[/b] fight is a better way of putting it... And I like to drive things, ya know, jeeps, Titans, fighter jets, cargo jets, the usual things... Any suggestions?" Poison jumbled those words out in one breath, coughing as he spit the last word out...
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"Help fight?" Marker asked, obviously curious as he turned back to face Poison "So you're here to fight for a cause?"
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"Well, I wanna fight cause its the only thing I've known since I've been "reborn" Everyones been after me, ive had to live in the dark for the past 5 years and I'm through with it, so yeah.... I guess you can say I'm fighting to prove myself, give myself freedom from the dark..." Poison started in a matter-of-fact way, as if he had come up with the cause on the spot and felt... Good? Almost, about it...
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"Interesting way of thinking about it. How loyal would you be to the cause?" Marker took a seat on a bench that was some feet away from the tree and simply stared at the trunk, which was etched with names
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Poison walked up to the bench, hesitant to sit down, "Till death." "I can't go back to my old lifestyle, I hated it, the only way I got cR and the like was by stealing cause no one would do business with me..." Poison said this while burrowing his eyebrows into a frown...
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"What If I gave you a cause? You know how many Wars are going on out there? Depending on your skillet, you could be a valued asset."
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Poison looked into Marcus' eyes, looking for any sense of betrayal there could be, but found none... "I'll take whatever I can..."