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originally posted in:The New Dojo
Edited by ookshmook:
6/4/2017 12:31:19 PM
28
You know you've come to the wrong cafe when the owner starts firing lightning spears at you when you ask for a muffin.
Cravis staggered back holding a cylinder that projected a blue shield like a viking of old, with the notable exemption of literally everything apart from the shield's shape. Needless to say, he looked rather exasperated.
"All I want is something to eat!"
the owner towered over him, seeming to be an orc or some such thing from some such strange universe.
"To buy ze vood you must prove yourzelf ztrong!"
Cravis narrowly dodged a tactical side-spear.
"How about I just pay for it?!"
The owner attacked more fiercely.
"You prove yourzelf ztrong, zen you pay for ze vood!"
Cravis started to have second thoughts eating in this particular establishment.
"Can I just not buy any food?"
The owner stopped, utterly confounded; he hadn't thought of that alternative.
"Vine."
Cravis sighed, deactivated his shield, and walked out of the shop at the spaceport.
[spoiler]open[/spoiler]
English
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Cylus had been attracted by the commotion an laughed as he watched as a large man resembling that of an ogre or an orc bombarded a smaller man on the floor. He had heard of that cafe, the owner being a crazed beast who thinks you must be worthy of his baked goods. Bewildered, Cylus leaned against a wall and watched as the man decided he didn't want those particular treats, got on his feet, and walked back in Cylus' direction. Chuckling as the man passed, he greeted him. "Must be some really good looking pastries, huh? The name's Cylus." he says, extending a hand. "What is it that you wanted? Perhaps I can score us some."
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Cravis turned to Cylus, frustration and lost dignity flaring in his eyes. "A f*cking muffin."
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"Ah, well sir, I'll gladly get you a muffin." Walking over to the orc, Cylus shouts. "Hey Tubbo! I'll take two muffins and a glass of milk!"
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The orc dramatically turned towards Cylus, spears of lightning forming around him. "Virst, you muzt prove yourzelf worzy of ze vood. "
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"Sure, so how's it going to work? Best two out of three?" Cylus asks sarcastically.
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"Best out ov vone!"
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"Gotcha." Cylus says. Quickly tapping a few buttons on a panel on his arm, he disappears. His suit had entered Phase Run Mode, in which he enters a state in a mirror dimension where he can traverse unseen. Cylus reappears behind the orc with two metal ecrisma sticks in hand, delivering 2 blows to his back.
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"You are ze tricky boy." The orc staggered forwards, swiping at him with an electric spear.
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Cylus ducks beneath the spear and rolls a few strides backwards. He twirls the ecrisma sticks in his hands, ready to make his move.
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The orc summoned more electric spears, which flew towards Cylus. It was usually at this point one realises the shop was indestructible.
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[spoiler]I love this lmao[/spoiler] Cylus tumbles out of the way of the flying spears and watches as they crash and dissolve against the bakery. Under his helmet and hood, he was grinning with excitement. As he lands on his feet, he seemingly charges the orc before sliding between its legs, then turns to drop kick it in the back.
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The orc shouted in surprise and swung a massive fist behind him.
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It caught Cylus in the leg, and he tumbled awkwardly in the air. He landed and let out a grunt, quickly getting up.
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"Ha ha!" The orc started another assault, clearly enjoying himself.
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"These damn muffins better be good." Cylus mumbled to himself. Q, his A.I., spoke up. [quote]*I have heard good things* he says sarcastically[/quote] As the orc lumbered closer, Cylus shot a grapple around its legs, tripping him as he tried to take another step. "Ah ha!" Cylus shouted.
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The orc, who, seconds earlier was almost convinced of his own success, was only concious of the grapple on his foot when he felt the uncanny sensation of being suspended in air in a roughly 1 g environment, otherwise known as the feeling that you just made a mistake. "Ha!.. ah!" He seemed less aware of the irony of the situation than falling to the floor.
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Cylus laughed as the orc face-planted onto the ground. Hopping on its back, he mimics the orc's accent. "Am I worvy ov ze muffins?"
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"You are quite verthy!" The orc went behind the counter and gave him the required two muffin and glass of milk.
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Cylus gladly accepts the treats and walks out of the bakery, delivering the goods to the man waiting outside. "Here you are, one for each of us... uh, I never caught your name." he says,
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"Cravis. Daniel Cravis. And thanks."
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"No problem. I've heard good things about this place... Besides you know, the crazy orc baker." Cylus says as he removes his helmet. Taking a bite of the muffin, he nods in approval. "Worth it." he says
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"Perhaps we should leave before he realises we didn't pay."
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"Oooh. Good idea." Cylus says with a chuckle. He hadn't realized be forgot to pay for the baked goods. "Shall we?"
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"Let's go." Cravis picked up his muffin and stealthily made his way out of the cafe
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[i]Cylus follows Cravis out the door[/i]
