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originally posted in:The New Dojo
Edited by Obi-Emp Kenobi:
4/26/2017 10:50:12 AM
42
[i]Kaptin Brutagar and His Crew, Kill Kroozer "Da Deestroyah."[/i] [b]Outer Space.[/b]
[i]In the far reaches of space, carefully approaching the planet of Tatakai was the usual expected newcomer, but these newcomers were....special in a way.[/i] [url=http://miniset.net/files/set/gw-99060803001.jpg]The Ork Kill Kroozer hurtled through the abyss of space, within it was the infamous Freebooters Warband, Brutagar's Facesmasha's.[/url]
[i]The Greenskins marched throughout the ship, making constant repairs and 'adjustments'. They all looked distinct from each other, some wearing metal plates riveted on their bodies while others stuck with overalls made from some type of leather. It was all fine and dandy, though the crew had been getting bored due to not fighting much of anything but each other. 'No Humies raving on about their God Empurur, or dose poncy gits with da pointy ears.' 'Not even dose chaos grots!' That was, until one of the navigators decided to hit the warp drive button.[/i]
[b]One short, yet unstable warp drive later...[/b]
[i]Warp energy crackled as a rift opened up near the orbit of Tatakai, The Kill Kroozer making it's appearance.
Within the Kaptin's Quarters of the Kroozer, The Kaptin, Brutagar consulted with his 'advisur'.[/i]
"Wot da zog!? Where'z we at?!"
"We'z arrived at sum planet Kaptin. Me best guess is dat sum 'umies are on dis planet."
"Humies you say?"
[i]The Kaptin thought about this for a long while.[/i]
"Let's go dere. Maybe we'z can krump dem."
[i]The advisor walked off, and informed the crew of what was to happen. Which got a celebratory cheer from them. Through a coordinated effort that took all of their cunning, they had managed to land the ship in the Shi Canyon. The Kaptin had promptly exited the ship, followed by a mob of boyz. The Kaptin was at least a foot taller then the rest of them, Ork 'Kultur' is defined by whoever is the biggest and the baddest is the leader. In this case, it was Brutagar.[/i]
"Gork n' Mork, dis place is a desert!"
"It's not a desert ya stupid grot! It's one ov dem...kanyuns!"
"Kannons? Like da ones of da ship? Dis doesn't look like a kannon t' me..."
"HE SED KAN-YUN YOU DEAF MONGREL."
[i]The Mob of Ork Boyz bickered between each other, until one of them threw a punch at the other. In which all hell broke loose.
It was a full on brawl between the mob of 20, blood and teef flying everywhere. Of which some of the more greedier Orks quickly picked up.
The brawl had stopped after 15 minutes, with 3 boyz now dead. The Kaptin however, decided to fuсk it and move on, just traveling on foot.[/i]
[spoiler]rather unorthodox but Open. Talk with the Kaptin, or the Mob of boyz if you dare.
If you didn't understand a single god damned word of the post, I don't blame you. But I gotta stay in character, a grammatically challenged character.[/spoiler]
English
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There was the sound of laughing, and a man walked towards the group, clapping his hands. He was clad in ODST armor, and on his hip was a grey revolver. On his back was a long katana, the sheath blue with a cobalt phoenix emblazoned on the sheath.
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[i]The Mob and the Kaptin stopped in their places, looking at the newcomer.[/i] "Oi Kaptin, who's dis git?" [i]One of the Ork Boys said, his shoddily made rifle in hand. All eyes were on him.[/i] "[b]He doesn't look like one ov dem Imperium humies. Or da spess mehrines. OI. WHO DA BLOODY HELL IZ YA!? DIS IS MAH KANYUN. PISS OFF.[/b]"
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"Nah, I've been here since you first said WAAAGH, ya git." He said, laughing. "I am Jared Grant. Who the hell are you?"
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"Hold on, let me'z do da maff. Okay...carry da 3...Dis grots been on 'ere fer two years or thereabouts." "[b]Bah. Doesn't mattur. I'm Kaptin Brutagar Facesmasha, and dis is sum ov me crew. We'z claim dis kanyun as ours cuz we'z got 'ere. Like one ov dem rogue traders, cept not a backstabbing git.[/b]"
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"Okay, but this isn't your canyon. But, I gots a nice proposition for yeh. And yes, it does involve shooting and guns."
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[i]The faint rumbling of something massive began to enter the ears of the traveling Orks, as the ground that they stood upon rumbled and shook randomly. In their sight, they could see a massive cloud of spewed up dust, and at least a ten meter tall object approaching - that object, being a Battlefortress. And more specifically - a Deathrolla.[/i] [i]The monstrous vehicle, plated with several mangled bits of steel, junk, and ceramite, approached the band of pirates with a deep growl, its bloody Deathrolla motionless as the jagged wheels kept turning. Upon the side of the vehicle was the symbol of the Blood Axes, burnt and carved into the side of a door while a Big Shoota was positioned above it. In fact, several weapons were upon the damned thing; Big Gunz, positioned Big Shootas, and hundreds of other automatic weaponry and rocket launchers. It's massive size and equipment made the thing dreadfully slow. Yet, it approached, the guns primed for combative purposes; whether the Orks were attacking or not, it was unclear. Though they probably were, but it would be worth checking out. [/i]
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"Kaptin! It's dem Blood Axes!" [i]A lone boy shouted to his boss, of which another chimed in.[/i] "You mean dose ones dat act like humies?" "No Grotruk, I meen dem Snakebites. Yes I mean da zoggin Blood Axes!" [i]The Kaptin and his boyz stood in front of the Kill Krooza. If either one of them opened fire at this moment, this meant hell for either group. However, something to note for the Blood Axes was the fact that they were all dressed up as pirates, and had the Ork Jolly Roger somewhere on their body. The biggest Ork, the Kaptin wore a hat that had said jolly roger on it.[/i] "[b]Grotruk, get da megafone.[/b]" [i]Brutagar growled to the Ork, who then unclipped something from his pirate coat and tossed it at his Kaptin, surprisingly accurate as it landed right next to his feet. The Kaptin picked it up and spoke.[/i] "[b]WOT'S DA LOT OF YOU'Z DOIN' IN ME KANYUN!?[/b]" [i]Brutagar shouted, his voice amplified by the small vox device. It was certainly loud enough for both parties to hear.[/i]
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[i]The Deathrolla continued to approach, before a booming -clang!- was heard, as a massive Ork hand, armored in a considerably tanky manner, bursted through a hatch on the top. Said hand was followed by an arm, body, and eventually: an entire Ork.[/i] [i]At nine feet tall, the fatass was massive; his frame was hidden by a ginormous suit of Mega Armor, making it a miracle that the Battlefortress could carry him. Although the thing looked as if it could carry about twenty or thirty tons. The Big Mek's teeth were about one and a half feet long, the rest masked by his helmet, his eyes covered by deep red lens. He took out his own megaphone, roaring in a deep, gargled voice. It may have been so loud because he was trying to rival the Kaptin's roaring tone. [/i] [b]"DIS? DIS IS MY KANYUN, ME 'N ME BOYZ GOT 'ERE FIRST! AND WHAT'YA PIRATE GROT'S DOIN' HERE, CRASHIN' DOWN ON THIS HOLE?! [/b] [b]...YA WOULDN'T BE SEARCHIN' FOR 'UMIES, WOULD YA?!"[/b]
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"I FOUND DA KANYUN FERST. ME AN' MAH BOYZ YOU GIT. BUT WE'Z LOOKIN FER HUMIES T' FITE. SO YE, YER ROIGHT PROPPA ON ONE TING." [i]Kaptin Brutagar merely stood at 8 feet. But to compensate for this he had a bitchin' power fist he stole off a dreadnought. He was getting pretty pissed at this new arrival.[/i] "ARE YOU LOOKIN FER HUMIES TO FITE AS WELL?"
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[b]"YA! ONLY FOUND A... What's dess thing called again? A coyote? THAS BESIDE THE POINT. 'E NEED 'UMIES 'N ELVES 'N WHATEVA ELSE TAH FIGHT, AND I HEAR - WELL, LEMME GET CLOSA, I OUGHTA TELL YA IN PERSON."[/b] [i]The Ork Battlefortress took about a minute or so to get to a suitable walking distance (about twenty feet) to the Kaptin and his Boyz. The Big Mek pushed himself out of the vehicle, crashing down upon the dusty earth and rising up, as Mekboyz and Shock Boyz followed him out.[/i] [b]"ALRIGHT,"[/b] [i]He yelled, gathering the attention of the Orks.[/i] [b]"Dey say, there's a place on this rock that's got all sorts a' fighters. Warriors, magic gits - all of 'em. Thas where we'll get some good fights! And maybe even teef, I dunno.."[/b]
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"If dere's fighters den dere's loot!" [i]One of the more...brighter Ork Boyz said, which excited the others. So much so that one of them, armed with a copper staff with various bitz and gubbins on it ran off. A few seconds later a green projectile shot up in the sky. Psychic Vomit. This Kaptin had a fuсking weirdboy with him. Nonetheless the prospect of the idea did intrigue Brutagar.[/i] "So, wot yer saying is...we can get into a proppa scrap right now? I oughta get the rest of my gits, dis'll be sumtin t' do."
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[b]"Yah, 'e can take care o' dis lot inna hour o' so. Muh Boyz say most've left, gone on some 'venture...'e should strike soon, if anythin'."[/b] [i]Ripgar chuckled deeply, as his fellow Shock Boyz and Mekboyz nodded with the Kaptin's boyz. To be honest - for Blood Axes, who were usually complete gits that traded with 'umies, these guys weren't too bad.[/i]
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Edited by Obi-Emp Kenobi: 5/1/2017 2:25:33 AM[i]As were freeboota's. Brutagar did sell his services to a rogue trader before and got some dakka and Tyranid teeth as a reward. He then killed the trader before he could do the same to them.[/i] "You'z ought t' git a proppa ship and more kroo. Course I can lend mine fer a fee. We'z git dakka and teef, and we'z help ye take dis place down."
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[b]"Oh, I gotz a propa bunch up 'n dem mountains 'n plains, and we'z got sum dakka 'n teef. Y' could go 'n from above 'n blow 'em up sky high, and we blows 'em up sky high from below! [/b] [b]...But I wan' tha ninja's heads! Whateva dey're called - Lieutenants! I wan' der heads for me pointy stick!"[/b] "Why ya want der heads, boss?" [b]"'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE SKULL IS, YA GROT. AN' I'D LOOK FOOLISH WITH THA FEET ON ME STICK!"[/b] "Oh! C-Could ya share wit tha' Kaptin?" [b]"...Meh. Une or two! Dependin' on how many der is!"[/b]
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"I did git some ov dem bombs dose imperium humies use. One ov dem was called a vorticks bomm. I don't know wot it does but dose humies didn't want me getting it. But I did. Da rest were just torpedoes n' such." [i]Brutagar agreed with the plan, he did know that bombs were useful. And he did like the good explosion.[/i] "But wot if dose gits get da bright idea t' shoot me ship down with dem slipspess rokkits or wotever dey are.'
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[b]"A vorticks bomb? Thas...a scareh thing, ya got der. Y' can throw it 'n it pulls in everythin' into a hole, like one o' dem holes that Chaos gits come out of. So use it on the grouped 'umies.[/b] [b]An' me 'n tha Boyz could try buildin' a shield for tha ships...den again, we can take down aneh artillary dey use. 'E just need a little more dakka, 'n we're good." [/b]
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"[b]Why not both? I can send my weirdboy down dere wif yours, just watch out fer strangeness or yer head will go kaboom. I can pruhvide sum dakka az well. I have one ov dem heevy bolters I never use. Me mekboyz know how make some deffguns as well from dem plasma kannons dem blue skins have.[/b]" [i]The Kaptin said, before one of his Nobz, a similar height to him and wore pirate gear came running up to him[/i] "[i]Kaptin! Da meks are finished with yer new deffkopta![/i]"
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[b]"This'll be a dam gud raid, Kaptin. When 'e attackin'? Now?"[/b] [i]The fatass Ork couldn't contain his excitement for the coming raid, a wretched smile crossing his face as a deep, gargles chuckle escaped his threat. Ripgar and his Boyz were ready to go.[/i]
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"[b]When else iz a better time![/b]" [i]Ork Johnny Depp exclaimed, of which his Boyz cheered. This was gonna be fun for them both, until Brutagar 'received a vision' from Gork and Mork.[/i] "[b]Wait, before we starts, we'z need battul plans an da layout ov dis dojoe.[/b]"
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[b]"I cun git a layout frum une of mah Boyz, maybee a Gretchin git could scout 't a lil...ya wanna try tha' plan 'irst, Kaptin?"[/b] [i]Ripgar had taken to placing his hands upon his fatass waist as he paced back 'n forth, tapping his helmeted forehead softly as he thought about a plan to assault the Dojo. A Gretchin scout would probably end up dead - but it was worth trying to scout the place.[/i]
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"[b]Why not get da kommandoes? Or even bettur, send a skwad of deffkopta's to scout from above. If wot you sez about dis dojoe is true, den dey could blend in.[/b]" [i]The kaptin suggested as he fiddled with his gitfinda on his snazzgun.[/i]
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[b]"Mm, thas true. Dey could work out, find sum places were 'e can storm in, 'ou can bomb 'n loot. Who's headin' in furst, tha land truups or da air?"[/b] [i]Ripgar had then resorted to tossing a massive wrench into the air, then catching it with a metallic claw, before throwing it into the air once more.[/i]
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"Air Troops. Dey will eckspect a ground assawlt. But not from da air. I'll hit dem with a bombin' run and den you guys swoop in and take dem da stragglurs out." [i]Said Brutagar, showing some semblance of cunning.[/i] "If dey have shields den da kommandos will haf t' take dem down furst. Den da boyz and I can start da fireworks!*
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[b]"Sounds gud ta me. 'E'll charge in first, so 'e can take tha attention. So when we attackin'?"[/b] [i]Ripgar had stopped throwing his wrench into the clear air, looking back at Brutagar and nodding at the Kaptin's kunnin.[/i]
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Edited by Obi-Emp Kenobi: 5/5/2017 11:25:37 AM"Within a few dayz time. We'z gots t' know every nook n' cranne in dere so we don't gets surprised by any humies." [spoiler]So basically whenever one of us starts the resulting shitshow[/spoiler]
