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originally posted in:The New Dojo
2/18/2017 11:14:13 PM
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[quote]Alright... I'm waking up the steps to the door... All 30 minutes of them.[/quote]
[spoiler]Alright, it begins.
1) Try to refrain from using first person. Speak in the third person. That would look like this:
Timothy... Walking up to the gate.... All thirty minutes
2) Try to make it a singular post, that makes sense, and either in the past or present
Timothy walked up the stairs of the dojo. All thirty minutes of them
3) If you want to reference time, try to do it at the beginning. If you can't, use it in the middle or end
For nearly half an hour, Timothy walked up the steps towards the gates.
Or
Timothy, for the last half hour, had been walking to the gates
OR
Timothy approached the gates from the path, taking neatly half an hour [/spoiler]
[b]Royal rose to his feet and stop tall with the dojo behind him.
He bowed slightly as Timothy approached [/b]
"Hello warrior."
English
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Edited by mom: 2/18/2017 11:40:25 PMTimothy, remaining silent, locked eyes with his challenger
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[spoiler]Much better! [/spoiler] "I am Royal. Sensei of this dojo. Will you give me your name, warrior?"
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Timothy remained silent, for he had no incentive to communicate.
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"Very well than... As the challenger, you may make the first move." [b]He drew his blade, which glowed an odd unidentifiable colour [/b]
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[spoiler]Remember when I was new? [/spoiler] [spoiler]The sort of ok days...[/spoiler]
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Timothy raised his hand, palm outstretched, as if saying stop, but as soon as the gesture became worn, a loud click was heard, and a large firearm was suddenly in his hand. He pulled the trigger, and the weapon made a deafening crack, but the taser dart missed it's target and ricocheted off the floor.
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Edited by Royal Blade: 2/18/2017 11:58:11 PM[b]Royal didn't flinch , remaining in a defensive position with his blade [/b]
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Timothy, confused by his miscalculation, fired again, yet yielding a similar result, although being closer to his target.
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[b]Royal shook his head slightly, and dashed forward towards Timothy [/b]
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Quickly coming to realize his deadly mistake, and his lack of remaining ammunition, Timothy quickly unveiled his own blade, going into a defensive stance that easily covered all of his upper body.
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[b]Royal faded away as he approached, until a black shadowy figure crashed into Timothy and exploded into blackness. For Timothy, it was difficult to see. As if the world was covered in a veil of darkness [/b]
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Timothy swung out violently with his blade, trying in vain to protect himself from this unknown attack.
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[b]Nothing, and then the world lit up and a kick landed on the back of Timothy's knee, forcing him downwards [/b]
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He quickly spun onto the ground, trying to roll away from his attacker, but the kick to his knee had crippled him in a way that made it impossible to get away. lying on the ground, he again blindly swung his blade upwards, trying to connect with some kind of surface. he stopped mid swing. [i]why am I fighting without a purpose[/i] His arm slumped down, and he tried to think of a reason.
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[spoiler]you....[/spoiler] [spoiler]ya you have promise....[/spoiler]
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I agree.
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[spoiler]what do you mean[/spoiler]
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[spoiler]i'm impressed is what I'm saying! Keep fighting I want more!!![/spoiler]
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"Are you alright there challenger?"
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Timothy rose to his feet awkwardly, looking Royal in the face. He gave off an air of caution, but extended his hand to his opponent in a sign of gratitude for stopping his assault. He knew he had lost, and accepted it gracefully.
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"Are you certain? It seems you lack powers. So if you wish to continue, I will refrain from using my own."
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Timothy backed off, accepting the new challenge. [i]this is a challenge I can handle... although that blade of his is very strange[/i] [spoiler]correct me if i'm wrong, but italics denote thought, right[/spoiler]
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[spoiler]Yee [/spoiler] "Excellent! Once again, you may make the first move."
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This new fight had purpose, a duel. He knew he had no reason to kill his opponent, so he need to find a nonlethal way to win. Assessing the situation, Timothy figured that he had no option to fight other than in close range. He wanted to learn the properties of his opponent's weapon, so he swung his out in an attack that was impossible not to block.
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[b]Royal swung his own blade clashing, with Timothy's own. The blade still had its glow, but didn't seem to do anything [/b]
