{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
originally posted in:The New Dojo
12/14/2016 1:41:00 AM
1
[u]Thank God for that. I heard he did something to Watcher, but I was never told exactly what.[/u]
James looked around, until he realized that Wolfe had asked a second question.
[u]"Oh yeah, it's awesome. This is kinda a touchy subject, but here goes. When I was a baby, my parents were murdered. My mother barely had time to hide me. I spent the next 14 years on the streets. I've never really had a house or even been in one. I came to avenge my parents, I planned on leaving afterwards. I decided to stay."[/u]
James looked down now.
English
-
[i]Wolfe was silent. Rose spoke after a moment breaking the tense atmosphere.[/i] "Monsieur Wilson left Watcher seriously bruised and with a mild concussion. Had he not been in his armor, he would have been killed." [i]Her voice was quiet, almost mouselike. [/i] [i]After another moment Wolfe spoke.[/i] "That's an ugly road to follow, kid." [i]There was a clear coldness to his voice now, much different from the calm and at least polite tone he had used earlier.[/i]
-
[u]"How do you mean, ugly road?"[/u] James was visibly confused, he was also worried, considering Wolfe dropped the friendly attitude and tone.
-
Edited by Trashcan Jesus: 12/14/2016 3:36:26 AM"Trust me. You'll think it's going to stop all the hurt, you'll think it's going to get you what you want, and you'll get it, you'll get that feeling of victory, and then it's gone. Then you realize that no matter what you do, you'll never get your loved ones back. You'll never unsee their deaths. You learn that nothing you do will ever change your past, nothing you do will ever take away the pain." [i]He said. Rose looked up at him, a sadness in her eyes. Walking past James, Wolfe headed out the door, disappearing into the streets.[/i]
-
[u]"He's already dead"[/u] James said, barely louder than a whisper. [u]"The killer, that is."[/u] James looked down, knowing what Wolfe said was true. The pain would never ever fade, James just ended another life. Roy said otherwise but Roy was wrong. [u]"Where's Watcher? I want to talk to him."[/u]
-
"He is in his room." [i]Rose said.[/i] "Monsieur Wolfe and Monsieur Damien have both had rough pasts, James. Watcher's real name is Miles Damien, he is only two years older than you. He was orphaned at a young age, he does not remember his parents. He grew up a thief, never put his trust in anyone, and never gave out his name. He survived like that for some time, and his bad experiences shaped his behaviors, for better and for worse. He hardly goes out without his helmet, and refuses to give out his name to most people. The only reason I know is because I patched him up after his brush with Wilson. I am afraid that I accidentally mentioned his name in conversation with Monsieur Wolfe, and that Miles' trust will be difficult to earn back. On the other hand, Wolfe's father was killed by a CIA operator on Christmas Day, right before his eyes, seven years ago. He spent much of that time training, and then took his father's armor to hunt down the killer. He murdered every intelligence agent involved, and finally got the killer himself. It is something he hardly talks about, for he knows that his vengeance has not fixed the feelings of despair and loss. This is at least what I know from what I have been told by Monsieur Clarkson and Wilson." [i]She explained.[/i] "Please do not tell either of them I told you this. These are sensitive topics, and I know you did not know." [i]She said, sounding concerned like a big sister or a mother.[/i]
-
[u]"I won't tell them that I know. If you don't mind me asking, what have you done? Watcher, Wolfe and I have had rather similar situations, so I can only imagine you have too. It's entirely ok if you don't want to share."[/u] James looked up at her. [i]I should get a helmet, cover my face, hide my name. Go back to how I was on the streets. Keep a low profile and tell few people. Maybe that'd be for the best. Stuff always goes wrong whenever I'm around. I bring everyone pain, never have I helped another person in my life. I've killed someone but never saved anyone. The streets definitely had their highs and lows. No food, no liabilities, no house, no worries. Maybe this place isn't for me. The dark path was the road he was taking, I am too far gone to go back. What's worse, feeling terrible after killing a man or feeling nothing? I should ask Rose.[/i] [u]"Oh, and Rose, quick question. What's worse; feeling super guilty after killing someone, or feeling nothing at all?"[/u]
-
"I would rather feel bad than not feel anything at all. Emotion and pain are what make us human." [i]She said quietly.[/i] "I was in medical school when I joined the French Foreign Legion. I served as a field medic until I was contracted by a CIA operator to lure Wilson and Monsieur Wolfe out for him to kill. I will not lie to you. The blood of the innocent is on my hands, and not a moment goes by that I do not think about it. But what has past has past. You cannot live in the past. You cannot change it." [i]She said. Clearly, there was something she didn't want to fully come out and say, but what she had said was enough.[/i] "You have potential, James. All of us do. We may go down the wrong roads every now and then, but there is always time to change. I know what you are thinking, Monsieur. This is just the same old from every adult. It isn't. You aren't better off alone on the streets, you don't need to hide away from yourself." [i]Perhaps this was why Watcher had opened up to her. There was a big-sister-like aspect to her. She seemed to care.[/i]
-
[u]"I don't know, if 14 years alone has taught me anything, it's that I can't trust anyone because they're all just in it for themselves. Everyone in this world is truly alone. Watcher sees it, i see it. I haven't trusted anyone and I'm not ready to start again. I've got no one here but you three and Sarah. Hell, you're the most motherly figure I've ever had. I'm glad you didn't kill those two. They're good people. If anyone deserves to die, it's me. I should have listened to the advice the people who told me not to kill gave me. It would've helped this feeling I have. I want this feeling to leave me, just like everyone and everything else has in life. The street beggar never gets what he wants; he wants to eat so he has to steal, he wants a mom so he has to force his way into others lives, he wants vengeance so he kills a man and in return gets an unshakable feeling of guilt and sorrow."[/u] After James finished ranting, he bursted into tears and sat on the ground. He stayed like this for a few minutes, just crying and freaking out on the ground.
-
[i]She approached him, saying not a word as she sat down beside him, and placed an arm around his shoulder. Leaning in, she held him in a hug, letting him cry it out. He didn't deserve to die. He was just another outcast like the rest of the group, and that was ok. Sometimes even the tough ones had to cry. It was natural. She leaned her head on his, and waited. While she was primarily a physician, she had studied psychiatry, and as a human being, she knew that a shoulder to cry on was sometimes a necessity.[/i]
-
[u]"Thank you, Rose. Thank you."[/u] James said through tears. [i]I have an idea. I can turn back time and undo the killing. I can undo it. I can't get rid of this pain.[/i] [u]"I know how I can get rid of the pain. Before I tell you, I need to ask if you know what my ability is or not."[/u]
-
"No." [i]She said.[/i] [i]She had only just met him a few minutes ago, she really only knew his name and what he had told her.[/i]
-
[u]"The thing with me, my name had good reason. I'm fast and I can manipulate time itself. I've yet to attempt it, but I believe I can freeze time or go back. I want to try."[/u] James had the same determined look he had when he killed Zachary. He wanted, no he needed, to go back.
-
[i]Rose sighed, and then spoke.[/i] "Time is a dangerous thing to manipulate. While your slowing of it is relatively harmless, rewinding it could have drastic unforeseen consequences for not only you, but perhaps everyone else. Time is one of those things better left alone. I know what you're hinting at, and that is dangerous."
-
[u]"So is this pain, these self destructive thoughts. I want it to leave me."[/u] James looked at Rose and he had a certain fire in his eyes, but also a pain. He had seen and done things 14 year old kids shouldn't have. [u]"I'm the child that was forced to be a man..."[/u]
-
"Even with the past changed, does it bring back your parents?" [i]She asked.[/i] "You made your choices, and you'll face the consequences, but that does not mean you have to allow yourself to be destroyed in the process." [i]She said, quietly, reassuringly.[/i]
-
[u]No, they won't come back. I've accepted that already. I just don't want to be the same man as the guy who killed them..."[/u] [i]Is this what having a sister is like? [/i] Stinger decided Rose was right and decided not to do anything stupid.
-
"None of us wanted to be where we are today. I never once dreamed I would have ever killed an innocent person. I never once thought I would end up playing big sister to Miles. Monsieur Wolfe never expected to lose his father and hunt down the men who did it. Wilson never expected to be shot in the head for carrying a simple package." [i]She said.[/i] "It is not always about the road that takes you to wherever you are, it is about who you are as a result of the road."
-
[u]I never want to kill again. I know I will one of these days. I dread that day very much. That being said, I'm not going to go full serial killer mode. Do you still feel guilt?[/u]
-
Edited by Trashcan Jesus: 12/15/2016 3:47:06 PM"If I did not feel guilt, I would be as much a monster as Wilson." [i]She said, something shaky in her voice.[/i] "Nobody feels nothing after killing someone unless they are no longer man."
-
[u]Well, I'm not Wilson, luckily.[/u] Said James with a shaky laugh. [u]At least there's that[/u]
-
"Humans, despite how much we seem to do it, are instinctively against killing our own kind. Even in self defense and to protect our loved ones, there is a regret for taking another's life." [i]She finally stood up from beside him, and turned to the stairs just as Watcher, or Miles, had come down, wearing jeans and a long-sleeve t-shirt, sleeves rolled up. A look of surprise crossed his face, as he noticed that James was still there. Outside of his armor, Watcher was thin, and just about as tall as Rose. His brown hair was wavy, and moderately long, covering his ears, but still far from being shoulder-length. He was fairly tan, his eyes brown, always alert. In his hand, an empty water bottle. Unable to move, he simply stood at the bottom of the staircase.[/i]
-
[u]Oh, uh... Hey Watcher. Ummm....[/u] James knew Watcher didn't want to be seen, so James looked down
-
[i]There was an awkward moment of silence, before he decided that at this point, there was no more real reason to continue concealing his own identity. James had already seen him out of armor and knew his name. While it bothered him, he knew at this point he needed to simply get over it. It was simply an unnecessary fear anymore. [/i] "Hey...." [i]He said awkwardly, running a hand through his hair.[/i] [i]Standing there for a moment, he eventually turned and headed to the back of the first floor, tossing his bottle into a recycling bin. He came back in, but seemed to not know exactly what to say.[/i]
-
James had no idea what to say after the previous events. He looked over to Rose for help but she was as lost as he. [u]Wow... this is really awkward.[/u] James made an attempt to lighten the mood with a joke, it would probably fail but it's better than nothing.
-
"You're tellin' me..." [i]Watcher said, looking over at Rose, who then spoke.[/i] "Miles it is ok, James will not hurt you, him knowing who you are isn't going to put him in danger." [i]She said calmly.[/i]
