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Edited by cbrstar: 11/25/2016 12:01:31 AM
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A Scientific Analysis of This Weeks Update Nov 24 2016

Ah yes, the yearly American tradition of “Thanksgiving” Is upon us yet again. Where Americans from all over the USA get together to celebrate by eating vast amounts of Turkey, while holding back their seething contempt for their relatives and loved ones. Little do people know it’s also a day of victory for America, as they celebrate the liberation of the Indigenous people from their lands for the last 395 years without firing a single bullet!...Well many bullets were fired later, and a few arrows… but never mind that. Lucky for you Startec labs is located in a secret location that legally has no holidays! We literally eat, sleep, and work Science everyday solely for your benefit! This week’s translation: ============================================================================= [quote][i]“This week at Bungie we’re celebrating Thanksgiving.”[/i][/quote] [b]Translation:[/b] DeeJ dressed up like a giant turkey, but didn’t really appreciate that no one could tell the difference. [quote][i]“Unlike our sprawling community, the special occasion that makes this week a bit shorter for us is not a global one.”[/i][/quote] [b]Translation:[/b] Simply speaking there isn’t enough of you to warrant making a turkey themed sparrow. Just to take it away a week later despite thousands of pleas to keep it. [quote][i]“This ritual of feasting and communal gratitude is a national tradition. Tomorrow, our studio will be dark and quiet.”[/i][/quote] [b]Translation: [/b]So a few guys in Marketing like to sacrifice a goat, it’s not that weird is it? [quote][i] “It’s a time to give thanks. We might even carve a turkey with a flaming axe!”[/i][/quote] [b]Translation: [/b]Thanks to a certain someone we won’t be using a Samurai sword. In fact, we’ve had to ban all sharp objects from the office even safety scissors. It’s your fault for voting for Trump America! [quote][i]“So glad you asked! It’s a big question. To deliver an appropriate answer, I’ll get by with a little help from my friends. Here are just a few of them…”[/i][/quote] [b]Translation:[/b] Here’s a short list of employee’s who better find something nice to say or be laid off. [quote][i]“I'm thankful for the fact that Destiny is available 24/7. Being in the Destiny Operations Center, even on holidays, is always a special experience.” Marcus Schubert, DOC Specialist I stand corrected by that final contribution... There is always someone working at Bungie, seeing to it that the Guardians can defend the vulnerable. That is another job that’s never finished. The game must flow.”[/i][/quote] [b]Translation: [/b]That’s the most passive aggressive thing I’ve read. But please don’t confuse the DOC for "customer support" which we farm out to Activision. [i][quote]“More than anything, every single person at Bungie thanks you for playing. Without you, we’d just be making software without a destiny.”[/quote][/i] [b]Translation:[/b] Or Halo 6…PLEASE TAKE US BACK BILL! PLEASE!!!!

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  • "many bullets were fired and few arrows" Yeah right because they were too busy scalping people, slitting their throats as they slept, and roasting them over fires to shoot arrows. Natives were savages please dont try to act like Europeans came to the US and just killed innocent angels

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