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originally posted in:The New Dojo
11/17/2016 4:23:27 AM
1
"If you loved me you'd accept me for who I am. I am chaos now. I can't help what I am."
[i]Pan calms down slightly.[/i]
English
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"Dammit... Well then... If you're Chaos then I guess I fûcking love Chaos." [b]I reach over and give her a hug, more for my comfort than hers.[/b]
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[i]Pan doesn't hug back immediatley, but instead rests her head on you.[/i] "I don't want to be chaos, but it is what I am now. I have to live with that because there's no way of stopping it. I'm going to die, father....And I don't want to die." [i]She hugs back.[/i]
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"I'm going to find a way. I'll be damned if I don't."
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"Father, don't waste your time, go be with Elvis. You can actually have fun with her and watch her grow up. I'm sorry to disapoint you, father."
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[b]I hug her tighter.[/b] "Pan, if you think you're disappointing me by dying, then you don't know me. You've done nothing but good in my life. I'm gonna try my goddamned hardest to save yours."
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[i]Pan hug loosens.[/i] "I just don't want you to get hurt when the time comes."
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[b]I sigh.[/b] "Then let me have this right now. Just you. And me. A family. Let's just spend some time together now. Maybe I can get Elvis here too."
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[i]Pan tightens ger hug.[/i] "I'd like that, father."
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[b]I sigh again, just taking in what's going to happen. If she was gonna die... I was gonna be the best goddamn dad on the planet. I just stand there for a second, embracing the kid.[/b]
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[i]Pan's mind has feelings of doubt, guilt, loneliness, anger, and sadness floating around. Her mind was quickly becoming consumed and she had no hope or fight left in her to stop it. [/i]
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"Pan... I just want you to know... I'm gonna be here for you. Until the end. Be it mine or yours, and I hope to God that it's mine. If my God is a merciful one, he'll at least grant us a day or two of rest."
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[i]Pan nods, her voice quiet.[/i] "I hope so."
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"And do you wanna know what, Pan? I already know he's a merciful God. Come on, let's go back to my room and just... Take a break from all the world's bullshit. Sound good?"
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[i]Pan once again nods and ends the hug.[/i] "Okay, father."
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[b]I start walking back to the room.[/b]
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[i]They make it back to the room. Pan's mood slowly getting better already.[/i]
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[b]I open the door, and go inside. I plop down on the couch.[/b]
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[i]Pan sits down next to you with her head hung low.[/i]
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[b]I try to comfort her as best as I can, an arm around her shoulder, giving her a small squeeze.[/b]
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[i]Pan smiles weakly, but it quickly fades.[/i] "I use to sing in some sort of meadow as a kid. It's weird how I remember that perfectly, but nothing else. All of the flowers and types of trees I can remember, but not the name I was given at birth. I can remember the songs I'd sing, but not my parents or friends."
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"That... That sucks. Heh. Well, if you were me it'd be a goddamn miracle. Things I've seen... Things I've done..." [b]I go silent for a moment as I slide my helmet off again, looking over at Pan/[/b] "So you just remember that meadow? Nothing else?"
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[i]Pan slowly smiles.[/i] "I remember a song someone sung to me the last time I remember being at that meadow. I don't know who it was or why they were singing it, but it was beautifle."
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"Well... That's good. Hopefully we'll be able to salvage something of your memories when this is all over... Hopefully with neither of us dead."
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[i]Pan giggles.[/i] "Don't forget Bedlam....I know he's still alive somewhere in my head."
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"Can you not hear him anymore? Are you getting to that point?"
