I have mine plugged in, but I couldn't find one of these "hard wires" you speak of, so I had to settle for a soft one. Well, I must've screwed up there, cuz I still get lag and yellow bar a lot, and red from time to time. I tried smacking my router on the side a few times and I even tried blowing in the holes on it to clear any debris, condition unchanged. Its got a pretty hard cover, so I was thinking that maybe my taps on the side weren't enough to cover whatever was wrong, so I used a hammer. I now have a semi-circle crack and indenture on the side of my router, yet the condition remains unchanged. That's when I decided to follow them technical instructions up yonder.
So, I port forwarded. I'm assuming that the ports are the holes on the back where the cable goes. I turned my router around so that the ports are facing forward, condition unchanged. Well, that didn't do nothing (I figured it wouldn't) so I decided to put my Xbox in front of the "Firewall". I'm sure you can probably guess that my router wasn't burning, so I wasn't sure exactly which wall was this so called "firewall". Well, I just went ahead and my Xbox in front of the whole dang router, I even kept the ports forward, condition unchanged.
By this time, I was starting to get a little annoyed with this. So, I looked at my "Quality of Service". It didn't take a frickin' rocket scientist to see that my quality of service was sh!t. That was no help at all. Condition unchanged.
That left uPnP. Now, I could have told you from the beginning that this was about the stupidest idea I'd ever heard of and I knew it wasn't going to work. That's why I left it for last. So... I did it. I got up, and I went pee. When I came back, I was a little shocked. When I started playing again, I didn't have very much lag. I thought this was crazy. How in the heck did that do anything? But, after a couple matches of ridin' high on the hog, it went right back to the way it was. I was pretty disappointed at that. You know, I don't think that uPnP did anything at all. I'm suspecting it was just some kinda flook or something. Condition unchanged.
I'm thinking what everybody's saying might be true. These servers that Bungie are using ain't worth a sh!t. Now, I get tired of my job too, and even though it's hard to do sometimes, I still remain dedicated as h#ll. I think that if Bungie would fire their un-dedicated @sses and get some servers that are actually dedicated to what they're doing, I bet things might probably get a little better round here.
That's my conclusion. I should have known from the d@mn start that that's what it was going to take. I knew my sh!t was good. So how's about it Bungie? When you gonna get ahold of some dedicated servers, so they can serve us up some whoop-@ss Crucible.
[spoiler]On the DL, I might know someone that could hook you up with a concoction that'd make any server real godd@mn dedicated. Whoo-wee! Get ya some boys![/spoiler]
Anyways, for now. Condition remains unchanged.
English
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10/10
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Brilliant, you had me laughing!