Oh, and did you know -I find this to be rather startling- that Humpty Dumpty was never called an egg throughout his entire story! So what really splattered on the floor? Hmm..?
English
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Let me think of potential things that can splatter.
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A balloon of paint? No, that's inanimate.
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What about... Oh, a snail from a great height? That's reasonable, isn't it?