Of course it's a joke. That way you can laugh off your lack of knowledge of networking that makes people "red bar."
For those who do/consistently "red bar" you need to know this describes your latency, not your speed.
Think of it like this: latency/ping is how long it takes to respond to an event. Your internet/connection speed is how fast you send data once you respond.
Notice your bill mentions your speed 5/10Mbit, 5/15Mbit, etc. Your latency is not in the ads on TV, your bill, or (really) in your providers control. Your speed they can (and do control).
Think of your ping as how long it takes to get started sending/receiving data at your connection speed. The further the distance the longer the latency (time to get started).
Car analogy: Two cars both have a top speed of 80mph. One has faster acceleration (faster ping) and can get to 80mph quicker. The other still gets up to 80mph but takes longer. In a 100 mile trip the result is the same, even though one got a jump on the other they both topped at 80mph.
In online gaming (especially FPS) responsiveness matters because the game will never saturate your connection speed.
All you can do is physically get closer (geographic matching). In some rare cases upgrading your connection helps, but as long as you're not on DSL you got what you got.
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*sniffles* There will always be hope for the future..... Also, a serious question, because I know next to nothing about this latency vs. speed stuff. When I load into my first match of the day, I'm green bar for the entire match, but all the matches I play after that I am red bar. Why does this happen?
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All I can do is guess. My best guesses would be: 1). Crappy ISP modem/router can't handle the multiple different instances of each game. The first game it's "fresh." But as subsequent games continue and new IP's and (more specifically) ports can't be updated/refreshed and the crappy ISP router can't handle the state changes as well as it should. 2). Every game after your first you're playing with people off your continent? Not likely. Buy a real router. Let your cable modem be a cable modem. That way you have a good modem and a good router. Right now you have an adequate both. Consider googling (or looking up) port forwarding for Destiny. It will help dramatically. Also, everyday before you play press and hold the reset button for 2-3 seconds on the modem/router. It will reboot it (think how much that helps your PC) but it will retain your port forwarding. So you'll get a "clean slate" so to speak before each daily gaming session.
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Thanks! That's strange, because I recently purchased a new modem/router. Our Internet was down for a while, and our ISP was lazy and consistenly refused to come over and take a look at the cable because somehow it was a "problem on our end." We replaced our router/modem twice, and purchased a much better Internet plan. After 2 months of us calling them almost every day they came and finally fixed the cable outside our house. Looks like I'm checking connections, port forwarding, and getting a new modem/router AGAIN. These people will drive me crazy....
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Make sure the cable modem they provide you with is not ALSO acting as a router. That will screw up all your port forwarding. You can do this by checking your local IP address.you can do this in Windows by opening a command prompt (old school DOS prompt) and typing: ipconfig Note your IP address and default gateway. They should share the subnet mask. For the non networking geeks the numbers should be the same except after the last decimal. For example: IP: 192.168.1.101 Default Gateway: 192.168.1.1 If there is more difference than the last number, for example: IP: 192.168.1.01 Default Gateway: 192.168.[b]0[/b].1 That difference means the cable modem is still acting as a router and basically undoing any forwarding you do. If that is the case your ISP should be able to change your modem/router to just a modem. Or you can usually find a setting after logging in that tells it to act as a modem only (every company has a different name for the setting). You should be able to log into the modem just like your router by typing it's IP into your browser. Logins are typically: User: admin Pass: admin Sometimes they're on a sticker on the back. Or admin pass admin password admin 1234 [blank] admin admin [blank] Or any combination of the above .Call your ISP they will tell you and they can change the setting for you.