[b]WELCOME TO OFFCOFFEE SHOPIC TOP[/b]
You approach the door of the building.
You see people inside through the windows.
Many of which that are severely cracked.
The doors and windows are now barred.
Customers are standing in line, sitting down, and conversing amongst each other.
Gladlin takes orders from behind the counter.
MeHow88 is the night manager and gambling overseer.
EasterJackAttack waits tables.
Grubkiller91165 stands watch in the garrison out front with INDOMINUS TIT4N.
A Ghost and myself are watching a tv that displays SpongeBob. The remote is now broken again.
They do not notice you as you walk in.
This is your legal tender [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°;̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]
Proceed.
[b][u]Menu[/u][/b]
[spoiler][i]4.[/i] Coffee/mocha/etc. - 1 Offtopic Moneys
[i]2.[/i] Muffin - 2 Offtopic Moneys
[i]3.[/i] Headphones - 8 Offtopic Moneys
[i]4.[/i] Newspaper - 1 Offtopic Moneys
[i]96.[/i] Candy - .50 Offtopic Moneys
[i]6.[/i] Adult Beverage (not bleach) - 5 Offtopic Moneys
[i]7.[/i] Home Improvement Magazine - Free
[i]8.[/i] Souvenir T-shirt - 10 Offtopic Moneys
[i]9.[/i] Extra Menu - 2 Offtopic Moneys
[i]14.[/i] iPad Rental - 3 Offtopic Moneys
[i]14.[/i] Pair of Jeans - 18 Offtopic Moneys
[i]12.[/i] Cthulhu Poster - 7 Offtopic Moneys
[i]13.[/i] Bundle of Roses - 13 Offtopic Moneys
[i]14.[/i] 2000 Mercury Sable (194,000) - Best Offer
[i]15.[/i] Limes - Complimentary
[i]16.[/i] 3x5 Peronal Rug - 10 Offtopic Moneys
[i]17.[/i] Hush Hush Update on ISIS - Use Password
[i]18.[/i] Youth Size Aluminum Baseball Bat - 21 Offtopic Moneys
[i]0.[/i] Coffee, no milk or cream - Free
[i]20.[/i] Personal Space Heater Rental - 5 Offtopic Moneys
[i]2.[/i] Shoe (grants +25% Great Person Rate for the day) - 3 Offtopic Moneys
[i]22.[/i] Purchase Skill Point - 15 Offtopic Moneys (may only purchase once per week)
[i]23.[/i] Personal Roulette Table - After Hours Only, Ask Barkeep
[i]23.[/i] Ceramic Plates - 1 Offtopic Moneys Each
[i]23.[/i] Powerthirst - 9 Offtopic Moneys
[i]23.[/i] Chocolate Drinks - 4 Offtopic Moneys
[i]23.[/i] Sexual Sandwich - ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[i]28.[/i] Cat Adoption - pick one
[i]23.[/i] 10mm pistol - (will require background check) 125 Offtopic Moneys [/spoiler]
[b][i]BULLETIN [/i][/b]
- We now accept bottle caps! However, due to a tariff and local taxes, caps prices are equivalent to that of the Mexican peso, at about 18 caps per 1 Offtopic Money
- Now serving Sexual Sandwich's Sexual Sandwiches
- There is no longer a metal detector, as the staff has been granted super kickass powers and shit to fight crime with. Thanks Gladlin *thumbs up* now Mehow won't be pushed around by thugs!
- You guys have been great, this has been the best thread I've ever made and one of the most fun I have ever been a part of. Thnx babes.
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Bump [spoiler]we won't die[/spoiler]
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I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.
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Suck my ass
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Bump! This topic shall not die!
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How much is bleach
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Still too quiet
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I think we need some advertisements boss.
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WTF WHY IS THERE NO MILK MOTHER -blam!-ER. I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS SO HARD THAT IT WILL TURN INTO MODERN ART THAT WOULD REFLECT YOUR FACE. NOT EVEN THE FRENCH MUSEUMS WOULD ACCEPT YOU! THE BEST PART OF YOU WOULD SHIT OUT IF YOUR MOTHER AND LEAVE A BROWN STAIN ON THE MATTRESS. YOU INCONSIDERATE SCUM. NOT EVEN A WORK WOULD CONSIDER YOU TO BE WORTH IT TIME. YOUR WORSE THAN THE LOCAL SHRUBBERY.
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Hey guys
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That title melted my brain
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I can give you my children mayo's jar of mayonnaise it'll only cost you the fact that you are selling my children and a small loan of a million dollars (12 offtopic bucks per jar just give me a third of the profit per jar sold)
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Edited by Lasagna: 4/3/2016 11:39:30 PMPumpkin spice latte please
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No bleach shots? Aww I was beginning to like it here.
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That sure is a lot of 23's.
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Has anyone else noticed how out of order the numbers on the menu are?
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I don't see lettuce on the menu…
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Edited by whoops: 4/6/2016 12:24:58 PMWait, can I sign up as a staff member? A Dooby is rolled marijuana joint and I am a dark lord of doobies, and I am broke, so could I serve my doobies here hopefully? Please I need a job.
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*starts fire in bathroom
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One of the tags is "no milk" XD 10/10 coffee taste
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Edited by I am Scr3aming: 4/5/2016 10:26:36 PMI float in on my amazing chair Proceed to praise holy rings very loudly \ ◎ /
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One ISIS update please [spoiler]password: Alunlockbar[/spoiler]
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My brain... It hurts.
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Edited by Skatch142: 4/6/2016 2:47:49 AM"I would like 4 muffins, a souvenir T-shirt, a chocolate drink, and a single lime."
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I walk into the bathroom. I then walk into a stall. I'm stuck now Help
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Edited by ProphetOfRegret: 4/5/2016 6:39:50 PMcan i have a bucketful of nans please? [spoiler]also will you add me to the list of people?[/spoiler]