YOU DON'T GOT SHI*buuuuurp*T ON ME! I WAS IN THE WAR. (pulls out safety scissors) YOU KNOW HOW MANY COMIS I'VE KILLED WITH THESE? (attempts to charge you but trips over his destroyed marriage) YOU'RE DAMN LUCKY. BUT I'VE GOT SOMETHING ELSE FOR YA! OH GREAT LORD CTHULU, SMITE THIS BASTARD WHERE HE *hiccup* STANDS. *throws up on torn up jeans* YOUR MOVE MOTHER -blam!-ER!

"Well you are just a mess... Do you want a cookie? Because I don't have a cookie..." *Picks up a stick and pokes you a couple of times.*

Sarah used to *burp* make cookies...Then that bitch kicked me out! I DON'T MISS HER! WHO SAID I MISS HER? *uncontrollable sobbing* SARAAAHHH!!! IT WAS JUST ONE DRINK! TAKE ME BACK SARAHAHAHA! *cries till he passes out covered in vomit and sadness* AND THE WINNER IS.... [spoiler]The compassionate guy who gave me a cookie :)[/spoiler]