Here at Startec Labs we have a stunning announcement! We have successfully cloned RAPTORS!... YES RAPTORS! But unfortunately it turns that Raptors are actually quite boring, and house training them is quite the nightmare. They also happen to be delicious… Well at least the good news is they are no longer on the endangered species list, but the bad news is they are now once again extinct. Science can be such a cruel mistress. You can be assured there is one thing that isn’t going extinct around here, and that is our A.S.S.H.A.T (Anti Spin Super Hyper Advanced Translator) ============================================================================================== [quote]“This week at Bungie we introduced you to our Audio Team on Twitch.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*: [/b]Filthy hippies… [quote]“At the top of the show, we issued a general warning: This stream will not feature news about content updates. Those shows are in the pipeline. If you love games enough to wonder how they get made, stick around.”[/quote] [b] *Translation*: [/b] Now only if we had put this warning on our weekly updates this past year, so that we could have saved your precious time from reading them. HA! Like that would ever happen. [quote] “Before we fired up the orchestra, we unveiled our new partnership with Twitch.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*:[/b] Making a free account on a Social Media site isn’t exactly going to allow you into the board meetings. Just like “You’re not my buddy, guy” …”You’re not my guy, friend”…”You’re not my friend, buddy” [b] ERROR **Double Split Link Detected**:[/b] [quote] “The Bungie Foundation aims to reduce distress and suffering in children through entertainment.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*:[/b] By using the latest gambling addiction psychology to turn them in a mere shell of a human being, but hey at least it keeps them off the streets, and out of your hair…right? Ironically Bungie just like some cultures consider you an Adult at the age of 13, so if you’re under 13 and enjoying the entertainment on this site. You need to leave, and leave now…I know it’s stressful but just go. [quote] “Twitch. Bungie Foundation Manager Christine Edwards was on hand to talk about how subscribers (we dub you “Vanguards”) will help us make the real world a better place.”[/quote] [b] *Translation*:[/b] You make the world a much better place by spending at least 700+ hours not going outside into it…Now for the low, low price of $69.99 and possibly your soul. [quote]“Then we debuted a brand new Bungie ViDoc about the people who create The Sounds of Destiny. Here it is again if you missed it, or if you want to watch it again (and again and again) in HD.”[/quote] [b] *Translation*: [/b]Rated T for blood, violence, and possibly some boring old guys who may or may not be spooky Gregorian Monks. If this isn’t quite enough blood and gore for you, feel to check out our court case with Marty O’donnell. [quote] “What followed was a panel discussion about voice acting. Audio Director C Paul Johnson and Creative Story Lead CJ Cowan repped the Bungie angle. Special guests Morla Gorrondona and Kirsten Potter stepped out from behind their characters to tell their own stories.”[/quote] [b]*Translation*:[/b] ZZzzz… Blah blah, here’s the people who almost single handily ruined both Nolan North’s, and Peter Dinklages voice acting careers, but somehow managed to keep their own jobs. [quote] “Huge thanks to Morla and Kirsten for spending some time with us, and for bringing characters to life that players wanted to get to know better.”[/quote] [b] *Translation*:[/b] It’s not that we didn’t have the budget to bring the more famous actors like Bill Nighy or Claudia Black in for a interview…It’s that they are no longer returning our calls. Hollywood is so fickle after you “belittle” one of their own, even though they are already kinda litttle. [quote] “Since it's "Audio Week" at Bungie, help yourself to some Destiny Soundtracks at a discount. The Bungie Store will be your dealer.”[/quote] [b] *Translation*: [/b]We took the “Music of the spheres” and cut it up into two separate disks for your enjoyment. Just a note of warning… You need to purchase the first disk if you want to listen to the second disk, or it locks you out of everything but one song. And also some of the songs end abruptly but you will be able to download the full song at a later date as DLC. Also if you play the song backwards it’s considered new content, and totally a brand new song. Which Itunes will charge you for. BUY NOW SUCKERS! =============================================================================================== Now what other delicious animals, err I mean scientifically important animals are going to bring back from extinction? My personal vote is for the Dodo bird, but you will have to tune in next week to find out.