The little kid who babbles incoherently against religion every day. He would annoy me enough to make me forget my larger problems.
"Hey, CL, can you gather some firewood?"
"I don't care what my daddy says, God isn't real!!!1"
"CL, don't drink water from that puddle, only running water unless we boil it first."
"My daddy is stupid!! There is no God!!!11"
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