I made a decision to avoid posting topics whose humor is derived from the reaction of the replies, not from content of the topic itself. Obviously this topic was treading on that line and not many people could see it was satirical. Therefore many angry replies were had despite it being tagged #satire. But rather than leave the thread up with a disclaimer, I feel it's better to take it down. So...sorry.
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I am gonna start out by saying I am 38. I have said worse things than that, at that age. Second I hate squeakers. I will do anything I can to avoid them because, they annoy the crap out of me. I grew up playing these violent viedo games. But to me it sounds like you got your ass kicked by some squeaker. Get over it dude, don't come on here and bitch out it, makes you sound like a pussy.