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originally posted in:The Roleplay League
11/23/2015 6:33:38 PM
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Garuud a Titan walked in. He noticed The barkeep. " Hey Suzie!" The barkeep looked up at Garuud. "My name is not Suzie.. *sighs* What do you want Garuud?" Garuud pauses to think. " I need a job, my tacos don't buy themselves bahahahaha plus the writers are bored at work and need something to write about." Another voice speaks up from his mouth. " You know, we also need money for bullets, guns. you know, stuff to survive." Garuud looked sad for a moment and then another voice spoke up. " We need Tacos to survive too!" Garuud then perked up and said "Yeah! We do!" The first voice then spoke up and said " No you don't, your a Exo" The barkeep watching this exchange between Garuud and himself started to back away. " Well, you have fun with that." Garuud reached over the counter and grabbed his collar. "No, going to cry in the corner just yet... not done here Sally. I still need a job." Another voice spoke up " and a Shirley temple." Garuud nodded " and a Shirley temple. " He let the barkeep go and he went to go grab the bounty board and his drink. He comes back "So there is a bounty for ogre eyes. They need to be of a high quality though." Garuud takes a sip of the drink and pauses " You spit in this? " Garuud says as he eyes the Barkeep. " of of.... course not!" He stammers Garuud looks shocked " What am I too good for your spit? For shame!.... I will be back with the ogre eyes." Garuud began walking towards the door.
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  • Matthew looks at the titan as he's about to walk out. "Hey! Two-Face! Might if I join?" He takes out his earphones. Ok, a schizophrenic exo. That's normal right?

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  • Garuud pauses for a moment. " Hmm" His second voice speaks up, " We could make him carry the extra eyes. They do have a lot of them..." Garuud perks up and starts smiling for seemingly no reason his second voice spoke up. " Plus that makes for more grenades and bigger explosions!" Garuud smiled even wider. That is when the people behind Garuud started motioning to Matthew crossing their throats and trying to make it apparent that they should not go with him. " Sure! It will be fun! We can roast marshmellows and drink beer and burn thralls alive! It will be a blast the cut goes 60 30 my way though. No, I am not bad at math. 10 percent finder fee for Sally the Barkeep over there." The Barkeep yells in the distance " My name is Steven!" Garuud yells back " Shut up Meg. This is great, it will give the writers something to do today!"

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  • Matthew gets up. "Ok, I'll help you. If the split is 40 40."

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  • Garuud looks confused for a moment. " But where did the other 10 percent go??" He turned towards a guy that was grabbing a cigar out a box on the counter. " You! What is in the box!??" The split is 60 30 plus you keep any loot you find. Since you are piggy backing on my job pumpkin"

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  • Matthew slowly walks up to him. "Look, Two-Face, the split, will be, 30 60. Me getting the 60 of course. And don't call me pumpkin. At least buy me a drink first. You know why, I'm getting more? Because the letter "G" comes before the letter "M". I also get 10 percent of your loot because my name had more letters than yours. So, go get your juice box and phone book because I'm waiting on you." He finishes his drink and balances it on the titans head and smiles. The bartender and other people in the bar are flushed with shock. This Matthew had no fear. He sat down and checked the magazine of his [i]Ace of Spades.[/i]

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  • Garuud laughed out loud " Yes but if you say the alphabet backwards M comes before G, which is why I get more. Also, I get 10 percent of your 10 percent because I am a big man and I need the warm now Spongebob. Also, 10 percent is 100 percent of 10 percent with is 100 percent correct. Correct has 7 letters, there are 7 days in the week and 365 days in a year and its been a year since this world was created. Illuminati confirmed. Now lets go Cupcake. We have a ogre to kill. " Garuud pulled the glass off of his head and threw it up in the air and shot it with his Fabian strategy and it shattered in the air and twinkeled down onto Matthew. " Ooo so pretty, like a princess." Garuud walked out and walked up to his ship. It would not open at first until he kicked it. Once he opened he hopped in and plotted a course to the hellmouth.

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  • Matthew slow claps. "Great. -blam!-ing. Job. You sir. Deserve an Oscar." He follows the titan to his ship.

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  • " I have 6, unlike Leo... he has none! bahahahhahaha!" Garuud said though his ships coms. " So off to the Hellmouth! Lets goooooo!"

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  • "Hell yeah! Ghost! Play us some Queen!" The ships stereo plays [i]Bohemian Rhapsody[/i]. "I can sing this song perfectly!" He clears his throat. "Is this real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I'm easy come, easy go A little high, little low Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really Matter to me, to me Mama, just killed a man Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life has just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, ooo Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters Too late, my time has come Sends shivers down my spine Body's aching all the time Goodbye everybody I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth Mama, ooo (anyway the wind blows) I don't want to die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all I see a little silhouetto of a man Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango Thunderbolt and lightning very very frightening me Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo Figaro - magnifico But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me He's just a poor boy from a poor family Spare him his life from this monstrosity Easy come easy go will you let me go Bismillah! No we will not let you go - let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go let me go Will not let you go let me go (never) Never let you go let me go Never let me go ooo No, no, no, no, no, no, no Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me For me For me So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye So you think you can love me and leave me to die Oh baby can't do this to me baby Just gotta get out just gotta get right outta here Ooh yeah, ooh yeah Nothing really matters Anyone can see Nothing really matters nothing really matters to me Anyway the wind blows"

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  • Garuud laughs " What the Sh*t! I love Queen! but I can do better! " His other voice spoke up " you cannot sing!" Garuud begins to sing. *feeeeliiiinnnngggsssss alllll about the feelings! * The other voice speaks up " See he is like a angel!" Garuud laughs! " High five!" The first voice spoke up " No high fives we are voices in our head!"

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  • "Uh huh. Ok then."

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  • Garuud landed on the surface of the moon and approached the entrance to the Hellmouth. "We need to find a way in, lets grab that Wizard there." indicating a wizard on patrol. Garuud made his way there and lined up the shot and fired weakening it. In its last sight it sees Garuud crouching. " Hey its Garuud! I shot you!" Then it passes out. When it wakes up its tied to a rock it begins screaming! " Hey shut up! You sound like a dying baby cyborg from planet 9." Garuud smacks it. " So, I am looking for a massive Ogre any ideas?" It begins to screech at him Garuud slapped it again. " I hate the metric system! How much in American!?" It screechs again and Garuud pulls up a camera and takes a picture with the Wizard as he pulls his gun up and blows its brains out. " pointless!" Garuud then turns towards Matthew. "Looks like we are going in blind as a Batman! We could use a montage to get in! Works every time!"

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  • "A montage?" Ax questioned, walking up to the two. "Why not this?" His dog dropped a tomb husk onto the ground.

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  • "Montages are way more in! Plus you can add your music to it."

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