You're walking in the woods. There's no one around, And your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him, JOHN CENA! He's following you About 30 feet back. He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint. He's gaining on you. JOHN CENA! You're looking for your car, But you're all turned around. He's almost upon you now And you can see there's blood on his face! My god, there's blood everywhere! Running for your life (From JOHN CENA!) He's brandishing a knife. (It's JOHN CENA!) Lurking in the shadows Champion Wrestler JOHN CENA! Living in the woods, (JOHN CENA!) Killing for sport, (JOHN CENA!) Eating all the bodies Actual, cannibal JOHN CENA! Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him, But you're hopelessly lost yourself. Stranded with a Champion Wrestler, You creep silently through the underbrush. A-ha! In the distance, A small cottage with a light on. Hope! You move stealthily toward it, But your leg! AH! It's caught in a bear trap! Gnawing off your leg, (Quiet, quiet.) Limping toward the cottage, (Quiet, quiet.) Now you're on the doorstep, Sitting inside, JOHN CENA! Working out his biceps (JOHN CENA!) But he doesn't hear you enter, (JOHN CENA!) You're sneaking up behind him. Strangling wrestler JOHN CENA! Fighting for your life with JOHN CENA! Wrestling a knife from JOHN CENA! Stab it in his kidney. Safe at last from JOHN CENA! You limp into the dark woods, Blood oozing from your stump leg. But you have won. You have beaten JOHN CENA Wait! He isn't dead! CENA Surprise! He has you in a head lock, and death in his eyes. But you can do Jiu Jitsu Body Slam wrestler JOHN CENA! Legendary fight with JOHN CENA! Normal Sunday night for JOHN CENA! You try to swing an axe at JOHN CENA! But blood is draining fast from your stump leg He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck You're chopping off his head now You have just decapitated JOHN CENA! His head topples to the floor, expressionless You fall to your knees and catch your breath. You are finally safe from JOHN CENA! (Original parody of a parody. No copy please. Jk I don't care)