originally posted in:Mission Failed
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I met yet another squeaker today. It was a pretty average day in Destiny. I had just finished eating dinner. I reconnected my controller and looked down at my phone to transfer my weapons in progress for a weekly heroic strike.
Then, I heard the seemingly innocent ding of an invite that will forever more make me cringe.
I thought to myself, "Who is this? Ah, who cares? I haven't done anything yet this week. What could he possibly want to do that I won't want to do?" I pressed firmly that Xbox controller home button, that vessel to a plethora of bad consequences, and off I was. Little did I know of what would take place in the next five minutes.
The screen seemed to load the same way one's eyes would clear from the blur of regaining consciousness, and not a moment after did my mind and stomach alike plunge into the despair of wanting it to be anything but that: consciousness. A dream was my wish, that what I saw on my screen was nothing more than a nightmare with the capability's extent of causing a jolt back into reality. I was severely dismayed.
There before me I saw a name, and next to it, a number. The name did not scare me; it could certainly have had better implications, but nothing I haven't seen before.
The number, that's what scared me.
As my eyes shifted right, the number 25 flashed for a brief moment, and then darkness. My eyes were now closed. I felt a chill on my arms and neck. Could this guy be serious?
I waited for a while, still hopeful he would tell me that he had placeholder gear on, or something, anything. I didn't think to inspect him on account of my baffled and petrified state.
He wasn't talking, and nothing was changing on my screen. I waited with bated breath. Finally, to my horror, I heard the shrillest, most vainly excited voice I had ever heard on this game say, "OKAY WE'RE READY LET'S GOOOOOO"
We touched down on Venus, and he stared in awe of the structure in the shape of a circular door. "WHOOOOAAAAA WHAT IS IT?" My forehead was promptly met with an open palm.
"Did you not read what you picked to do? It's the Vault of Glass raid."
No sooner did I finish the word "Vault" than the squeaker took the initiative to answer his own question:
"MY FRIEND TOLD ME TO DO THE RAID TO GET BETTER SO LET'S DO IT!"
"Just the two of us?"
"YEAH WHY? I COULD GET ANOTHER GUY IF YOU WANT!"
"You need six players to-"
"Guardian down."
"WHAT THE F**K I HIT HIM!"
I could continue to quote the rest of his explanation as to why he died to the Praetorian, but half of what he said was unintelligible nonsense, and the other half was too loud for me to focus on the words.
He ran over to me as I killed the Praetorian and remained standing on the left sync plate.
"SO WE'RE GONNA DO THIS THREE TIMES THEN WE'LL DO CRATO OKAY?!"
He jumped onto the sync plate with me, and I pulled out my ghost. I was through with those ludicrous shenanigans.
TL;DR Please pray for me.
Edit: I appreciate the prayers, guardians. I wish you all safe travels through the perilous forums and matchmaking searches.