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originally posted in: Answer the question with a question.
9/13/2015 1:55:24 PM
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That has happened to me, but I probably should have seen it coming, do you see your friend betraying you, is he prone to that behavior?
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  • Yes and no, I don't really know if I can trust him anymore, what would you do?

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  • If there is any question, from my experience, I would say don't trust him, why risk it? I trusted my life time best friend, even when it seemed as though he was changing, and would you believe me if I told you that he would tell people my confidences if they simply asked? My best friend now I wouldn't even think twice about telling, if your friend is like that, then I would say it is safe, is the bond with your friend like that?

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  • You're right, my friend can't be trusted, but he puts me up to stuff I don't wanna do, how do I stop that? He done things he says he regrets but, I think that's bull, I'm sure it wouldn't be safe to risk my reputation of telling him my secrets, right?

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  • What kind of stuff are you talking about (you can pm me btw, in case you don't like talking in questions or just want to talk alone)? Depending on what it is, wouldn't that depend on how much you should trust him?

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  • It's nothing much really, he's just no very trustworthy and can exaggerate a lot, do you have a friend like that? [spoiler]its ok, just takes me time to figure out how to word my questions. My friend is bad, but not terrible bad. [/spoiler]

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  • Yeah, I have friends like that, they can get annoying can't they? I usually reserve hatred, I think its ugly and shows a lack in character, but my old best friend was poisonous for me, do you think your friend has the ability to corrupt you?

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  • I'm very easy to trick so my friend could possibly use that advantage to trick me, have you got a flaw your friend may take advantage of?

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  • I was the same way, he manipulated me and basically kept me from making any friends to where he was my sole connection, and then he'd -blam!- on me when I needed him the most, but I will say he helped me to see when others are manipulating me, since he gave me so much practice, hahaha, how easy is it to trick you? You seem fairly smart, are you too nice?

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  • Well when people ask me for stuff, I always say yes, too nice? My friend always pulls me around to do their stuff, how do I stop it?

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  • Well, sounds like you need to learn to say no, get a backbone, right? Not meant to be rude if I sound like it, I was like that once too, but you just have to learn to tell them no, it shouldn't be too much of a problem, what kind of stuff do they ask you to do for them?

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  • To help out and stay behind to carry stuff, that bad? There's also being tricked into saying yes, so I'll help with something I'm not wanting to help out on, that bad too?

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  • I'm not really sure how old you are, but it sounds like things that should be pretty simple to say no to, wouldn't you agree? Isn't it good to help out your friends and maybe do things once in a while you don't want to, just not all the time?

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  • I help out my friends pretty much every single day, and they take advantage of it, wouldn't that annoy you?

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  • It would, isn't that why I said you just need to learn to say no? It isn't rude to say no, isn't it just politely speaking your mind and letting your friends know that you wish not to do what it is they asked of you? Would you mind giving me a "classic example" of what they make you do so I can better understand your predicament?

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  • Friend: Hey, can you lend me some money? Me: How much? Friend: 20 Me: Fine. [spoiler]Didn't know how to word it with question marks. [/spoiler]

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  • Ah, isn't that a classic example of just saying no? Would you believe me if I told you it gets easier after you've done it? [spoiler]Ur fine[/spoiler]

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  • I guess so, I'll try it more often, anything problems like that for you?

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  • I had different problems, I told you my old best friend tried to manipulate me all the time right? For example, he would be really super nice to me, and then talk crap about me to my other friends so that they would shy away, and so he could control me as my single friend, which I think you would agree is pretty bad right? I hate myself for not realizing it, for years I wondered why I couldn't make any more friends, and do you know how many friends I made after I got myself away from him?

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  • It doesn't sound like many at all, is it? Did he change you because you were around him so long, or is it something else?

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  • You don't think I made many friends ;_; ? Actually, he ended up changing me for the better, I learned to let insults roll of my shoulders, I learned to watch for manipulation, I learned to never trust someone without them giving you a good reason to, I learned one friend is cool but dozens are better, isn't that important?

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  • That's really good thinking, I thought he might have made things worse, no? Ever seen him again?

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  • I would say he had a poisonous impact on my life for a while, but I really turned things around for myself, he still tells people bad things about me, (today a friend said he told her to stay away from me), but wouldn't you think he's lost a lot of his credibility by now? Honestly, after all the stuff he fed people and them finding out what a load of crap it was, he went from dozens of friends like me now, to two, do you think that was worth it?

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  • No, he messed up there, sounds like he lost a lot of good friends, but today? He is still treating you like that now?

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  • Funny thing is he doesn't even go to our school any more, he goes to a trade school for half days, but he hangs with people from our school and still talks about me, and over the years he has became somewhat of a role model for me, not to follow but to avoid, and I think you just have to think similarly you know? Your friends may be great people, but you have to use your backbone, give a little but don't give everything they ask of you especially if you don't want to, sounds simple, hard in practice, but would I be wrong in thinking you are up for it?

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  • I think you're right, I mean I think I should just stand up for myself like you did, he tries his hardest to annoy me, what things does he say about you?

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