This is getting extremely ridiculous. The forums aren't a place where you can bitch and moan about problems that you can easily fix. No one here is going to treat you nice, when it seems like you're doing this for attention. That is the cold hard truth. As I said before, seek professional help. Someone who is qualified is a lot better than a bunch of random strangers online. Why? Because they went to school so that they could help others in the long run. Doctors deal with physical pain; therapist, counselors, psychiatrists deal with the mental and emotional side of things. If you are unable to get professional help locally, use a help line or chat room. They do help, and I speak from experience. I tried my best to talk to you and see the root of the problem, but you are definitely one who needs serious professional help. This is not me being rude, do not take it that way. We can't help you, only you can help yourself. You need to grow up, and seek professional help and attack your problems at the root with the guidance of someone who is qualified. Stop coming to a public forum, expecting any of us to know absolutely any way to help you. We are not qualified, and you are bound to get negative feedback that could worsen your state of mental health.