[quote]is mayonnaise an instrument?[/quote] If I gave a muskrat a mayonnaise enema and then stomped on it with heavy boots, so that it made a horrible noise as it squirted out of its bum into the mouth of a sleeping hobo who then vomited it all over a republican senator from a large western state. If I recorded all of this and ran it on a loop at 25x speed, would it be considered music?