What if everything you ever wanted...
WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER!
[b]THEN YOU NEED[u] PEREGRINE GREAVES[/u]!!![/b]
PUT THESE[b] SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN[/b] AND[b] YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES[/b]. THEY ARE[b] GEMS[/b]. YOU WILL LOOK [b]GLAMOROUS[/b] LIKE A [b]STYLISH LADY[/b] WHILE YOU [b]KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE![/b] YOUR LEGS ARE [b]BEDAZZLED! [/b]BEDAZZLED WITH THE[b] STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS[/b] IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE[b] ZERO F***S[/b] ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO [b]SWEET JUMPKICKS! [/b]
YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE AND[b] THAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE[/b] BECAUSE [b]YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH![/b][b] YOUR SON WILL DIE! [/b]YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! [b]YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! [/b]
YOU WILL[b] TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE [/b]AND YOU WILL[b] MASSACRE PEOPLE![/b] YOU WILL[b] F*** THEM UP![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS![/b] DENIED! [b]GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS [/b]AND CAUSE THEM TO [b]WEEP RADIANT TEARS![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS[/b]...[b][i]CAREFULLY[/i][/b]....
[b]YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES[/b], DIVING INTO THEIR[b] NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT[/b] AND [b]MURDERING [/b]THEM WITH YOUR[b] ENERGY LEGS[/b]! IT IS[b] YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU[/b]---wait, shit...[b]THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? [/b]
YOU WILL[b] RUIN YOUR K/D[/b] LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE[b] ADDICTED[/b] TO THE SWEET,[i] SWEET[/i] SOUND OF [b]INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH[/b]! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY [b]SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE [/b]AND IT WILL BE [b]WORTH IT[/b] WHEN YOU [b]KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT[/b] BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM![b] EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED [/b]AS[b] YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED[/b] AND HIS FAMILY[b] FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS[/b] TO [b]TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF[i] TEXAAAAAAS! [/i]
[/b]
[b]PEREGRINE[i] GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES[/i]!!![/b]
[b]EDIT:[/b] [b]YOU WILL KNEE TITANS PANIC-FISTING...and...[/b] shit. IT DOES [b]NOT END WELL[/b] IF "[b]UNSTOPPABLE[/b]" IS ACTIVE. THANKS, xSHIBBYx !
EDIT AGAIN: [b]I HAVE REVIEWED THE LORD OF WOLVES:[/b] https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/145107737/0/0
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Best thread ever
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Lmfao this is too good
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Edited by JBO: 8/6/2015 12:03:20 AM[quote]WITH THE STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE ZERO F***S ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS![/quote] Best shit I've ever read right there.
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I...I love you. Full Homo.
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Man. This takes me back to power thirst videos
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Hahahaha I lost it on "warlocks faggy goat hat"
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God bless America :')
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Holy shit man, you gotta do more of these! Bump, upvote, etc!
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Calm down mr torgue.
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Most amazing thing i have ever read...it hit me right in the feels.
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Thank you for this. I hope I was supposed to read it like an infomercial, because I did.
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LMAO I first read your comment on Keel4reel or whatever's thread and you made Us Titans sound amazing. Now this? You're Epic. [b][i]TITAAAAAAANNNNNSSS[/i][/b]
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Bungie pls sell peregrine greaves. [spoiler]lol[/spoiler]
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Love it. Best thread on this forum in a longgggggggg time.
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[b]YEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!![/b]
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Comes with every can of Power Thirst
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i got it from 32 poe r 34 poe r xur they were awesome, better than mk 44 stand asides
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Favorite thread ever made... It's like wearing greaves that give your knee the power of Chuck Norris
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should of got it when xur was selling them
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your late to the party we already beaten a devil walker with them
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Falcon KNEE
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Hell yeah!
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Are you Torgue Flexington's long lost brother?
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Bravo
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I didnt read any of this shit but it was glorious
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I read this three times. 1. Mr Torgue voice 2. Macho Man Randy Savage 3. Samuel L. Jackson