What if everything you ever wanted...
WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER!
[b]THEN YOU NEED[u] PEREGRINE GREAVES[/u]!!![/b]
PUT THESE[b] SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN[/b] AND[b] YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES[/b]. THEY ARE[b] GEMS[/b]. YOU WILL LOOK [b]GLAMOROUS[/b] LIKE A [b]STYLISH LADY[/b] WHILE YOU [b]KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE![/b] YOUR LEGS ARE [b]BEDAZZLED! [/b]BEDAZZLED WITH THE[b] STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS[/b] IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE[b] ZERO F***S[/b] ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO [b]SWEET JUMPKICKS! [/b]
YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE AND[b] THAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE[/b] BECAUSE [b]YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH![/b][b] YOUR SON WILL DIE! [/b]YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! [b]YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! [/b]
YOU WILL[b] TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE [/b]AND YOU WILL[b] MASSACRE PEOPLE![/b] YOU WILL[b] F*** THEM UP![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS![/b] DENIED! [b]GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS [/b]AND CAUSE THEM TO [b]WEEP RADIANT TEARS![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS[/b]...[b][i]CAREFULLY[/i][/b]....
[b]YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES[/b], DIVING INTO THEIR[b] NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT[/b] AND [b]MURDERING [/b]THEM WITH YOUR[b] ENERGY LEGS[/b]! IT IS[b] YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU[/b]---wait, shit...[b]THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? [/b]
YOU WILL[b] RUIN YOUR K/D[/b] LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE[b] ADDICTED[/b] TO THE SWEET,[i] SWEET[/i] SOUND OF [b]INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH[/b]! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY [b]SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE [/b]AND IT WILL BE [b]WORTH IT[/b] WHEN YOU [b]KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT[/b] BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM![b] EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED [/b]AS[b] YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED[/b] AND HIS FAMILY[b] FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS[/b] TO [b]TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF[i] TEXAAAAAAS! [/i]
[/b]
[b]PEREGRINE[i] GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES[/i]!!![/b]
[b]EDIT:[/b] [b]YOU WILL KNEE TITANS PANIC-FISTING...and...[/b] shit. IT DOES [b]NOT END WELL[/b] IF "[b]UNSTOPPABLE[/b]" IS ACTIVE. THANKS, xSHIBBYx !
EDIT AGAIN: [b]I HAVE REVIEWED THE LORD OF WOLVES:[/b] https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/145107737/0/0
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Edited by Ragnarock75: 8/6/2015 1:40:50 AMFELLOW GUARDIANS LEND ME YOUR EARS. RUE THIS DAY FOR I PROMISE UPON RECEIVING THE KNEE PADS OF THE GODS NO BLADE DANCER, BABBLING SHEEP, NOR ANY BUBBLE SHALL BE SAFE FROM THE UNRESTRAINED POWER I CONTAIN IN MY KNEES!!!!!!! But until then I will remain thoroughly disappointed in shoulder charge. People keep telling me it's OP....but no more so than any shotgun ever...
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I can't express how much I love this!
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Please change your name to mr torgue
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Edited by Nolan North: 8/6/2015 1:38:49 AMMy God I couldn't stop laughing at this. It makes it worse cause I'm high AF right now lol
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You sir are a winner
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Lmao I love Peregrine Greaves; I took my lvl 33 Titan into trials and shoulder charged everything and almost went flawless until the last match. Came up against some guys I foundry even do damage to.
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Hahaha! Excellent.
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You killed me lol
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Are you MAN enough to show up at the BIRDSHOW?! A ticket gets you a whole seat, but you'll ONLY NEED THE EDGE!!!
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Best post ever. Thanks for the multiple laughs!
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MR. TORGUE APPROVES
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Can I kill a shank with those Greaves?
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[b]KNEE OF JUSTICE!!![/b]
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Hunters and Warlocks ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)- ⌐■-■ Got (⌐■ ͜ʖ ■) REKT
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Lol I only read this heaping pile of text because of the comments. I laughed. Nicely done.
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Gold....just.....gold....
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I laughed
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This is gold
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BUMP you sir are a genius
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Oh [b]GOD DAMN SHIT YES[/b] HOLY [b]F**K[/b] My kneeeees MY GOD DAMN [b]HGNNNNNNNEEEEEES[/b]
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Just when I was getting sick of the forums, THIS!!!!.......this is some of the funniest shyte I have had the pleasure to read, have read it 3 times, going back for a fourth
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[b][u]THIS IS WHAT IM FREAKIN TALKING ABOUT![/u][/b]
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Probably would do some work on brawler or airborne I bet.
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Nah, my dream is to punch everything in sight and explode. ACD/0 FEEDBACK FENCE!!!!
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bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump