What if everything you ever wanted...
WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER!
[b]THEN YOU NEED[u] PEREGRINE GREAVES[/u]!!![/b]
PUT THESE[b] SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN[/b] AND[b] YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES[/b]. THEY ARE[b] GEMS[/b]. YOU WILL LOOK [b]GLAMOROUS[/b] LIKE A [b]STYLISH LADY[/b] WHILE YOU [b]KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE![/b] YOUR LEGS ARE [b]BEDAZZLED! [/b]BEDAZZLED WITH THE[b] STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS[/b] IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE[b] ZERO F***S[/b] ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO [b]SWEET JUMPKICKS! [/b]
YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE AND[b] THAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE[/b] BECAUSE [b]YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH![/b][b] YOUR SON WILL DIE! [/b]YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! [b]YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! [/b]
YOU WILL[b] TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE [/b]AND YOU WILL[b] MASSACRE PEOPLE![/b] YOU WILL[b] F*** THEM UP![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS![/b] DENIED! [b]GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS [/b]AND CAUSE THEM TO [b]WEEP RADIANT TEARS![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS[/b]...[b][i]CAREFULLY[/i][/b]....
[b]YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES[/b], DIVING INTO THEIR[b] NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT[/b] AND [b]MURDERING [/b]THEM WITH YOUR[b] ENERGY LEGS[/b]! IT IS[b] YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU[/b]---wait, shit...[b]THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? [/b]
YOU WILL[b] RUIN YOUR K/D[/b] LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE[b] ADDICTED[/b] TO THE SWEET,[i] SWEET[/i] SOUND OF [b]INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH[/b]! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY [b]SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE [/b]AND IT WILL BE [b]WORTH IT[/b] WHEN YOU [b]KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT[/b] BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM![b] EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED [/b]AS[b] YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED[/b] AND HIS FAMILY[b] FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS[/b] TO [b]TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF[i] TEXAAAAAAS! [/i]
[/b]
[b]PEREGRINE[i] GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES[/i]!!![/b]
[b]EDIT:[/b] [b]YOU WILL KNEE TITANS PANIC-FISTING...and...[/b] shit. IT DOES [b]NOT END WELL[/b] IF "[b]UNSTOPPABLE[/b]" IS ACTIVE. THANKS, xSHIBBYx !
EDIT AGAIN: [b]I HAVE REVIEWED THE LORD OF WOLVES:[/b] https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/145107737/0/0
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It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. ~ William Shakespeare [spoiler]You have the power to believe.[/spoiler]
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MMMMMMMMRRRRRRRR. TTTTTOOOOORRRRGUUUUEEEEEE MOTHER-blam!-ERSSSSSSS!
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Lerooooooy Jeeeeeennnnkiiiiiiiins
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MMMMMMMMRRRRRRRR. TTTTTOOOOORRRRGUUUUEEEEEE MOTHER-blam!-ERSSSSSSS!
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[spoiler]whut[/spoiler]
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Will somebody comment so I can find this thread?
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Goat hat lmao!!!!
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Eff the guy below me. I LOVE YOU! 😍 I actually lol'd. You win the webz!
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Lmfao
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[b]I DONT KNOW WHAT KODIAK BEARS ARE, BUT I DONT CARE BECAUSE THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT I HAVE READ IN AGES AND MY NEW FAVORITE POST!!! WHY AM I YELLING?[/b]
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This must be the badass thread of badassitude.
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Verification of Titan Master Race: Confirmed. Keep up the good work striker!
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I think I like you
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I think I like you
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Edited by tripleg11: 8/6/2015 1:50:11 AMYou, your being, your entity, your soul, and your post all embody Mr.Torgue so perfectly. That...that was beautiful
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JOOOOOOOOOHN CENA
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Mr Torgue?
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[b]THAT SENTENCE HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLES! APOLOGIZE![/b]
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Edited by A Purple Ball: 8/6/2015 12:35:33 AMSIMPLY DIAL 1-800-GET-REKT TO GET YOUR VERY OWN SET OF [b]PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES[/b] TODAY! LIMITED EDITION [b]PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES[/b] INCLUDE A SNAZZY FLAMING PAINT JOB ([b]SO YOU CAN GO EVEN FASTER WHILE SOARING THROUGH THE SKIES LIKE A MAJESTIC FALCON OF TERROR AND DEATH[/b]) AND A BOTTLE OF [b]PERE-CLEAN[/b], THE [b]ONLY[/b] APPROVED CLEANING PRODUCT FOR YOUR [b]PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES[/b], MADE FROM [b]THE BLOOD AND SALTY TEARS[/b] OF PEOPLE WHO B**** ABOUT [b]KNEE[/b] CHARGE ([b]WHAT THE F*** IS A "SHOULDER CHARGE"?[/b])BEING EVEN SLIGHTLY OP! GET YOURS NOW, AS OUR SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED!
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(sniff)That...(sniff)was f*ckin' beautiful...#TITANFORLIFE
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THE most amazing post EVER!!!!!! I read this in the voice of Mr. TORGUE from Borderlands. He should sponsor this post.
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"Faggy goat hat". Bahaha
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I saw a Ram Warlock get nailed by this exotic. His team mates were.....greave-ing.
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Bump...your face with my knee
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Edited by Ragnarock75: 8/6/2015 1:40:50 AMFELLOW GUARDIANS LEND ME YOUR EARS. RUE THIS DAY FOR I PROMISE UPON RECEIVING THE KNEE PADS OF THE GODS NO BLADE DANCER, BABBLING SHEEP, NOR ANY BUBBLE SHALL BE SAFE FROM THE UNRESTRAINED POWER I CONTAIN IN MY KNEES!!!!!!! But until then I will remain thoroughly disappointed in shoulder charge. People keep telling me it's OP....but no more so than any shotgun ever...