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Edited by Always Feral:
10/5/2015 4:33:08 AM
567
PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAVES!!!
What if everything you ever wanted...
WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER!
[b]THEN YOU NEED[u] PEREGRINE GREAVES[/u]!!![/b]
PUT THESE[b] SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN[/b] AND[b] YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES[/b]. THEY ARE[b] GEMS[/b]. YOU WILL LOOK [b]GLAMOROUS[/b] LIKE A [b]STYLISH LADY[/b] WHILE YOU [b]KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE![/b] YOUR LEGS ARE [b]BEDAZZLED! [/b]BEDAZZLED WITH THE[b] STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS[/b] IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE[b] ZERO F***S[/b] ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO [b]SWEET JUMPKICKS! [/b]
YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE AND[b] THAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE[/b] BECAUSE [b]YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH![/b][b] YOUR SON WILL DIE! [/b]YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! [b]YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! [/b]
YOU WILL[b] TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE [/b]AND YOU WILL[b] MASSACRE PEOPLE![/b] YOU WILL[b] F*** THEM UP![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS![/b] DENIED! [b]GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS [/b]AND CAUSE THEM TO [b]WEEP RADIANT TEARS![/b]
[b]YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS[/b]...[b][i]CAREFULLY[/i][/b]....
[b]YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES[/b], DIVING INTO THEIR[b] NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT[/b] AND [b]MURDERING [/b]THEM WITH YOUR[b] ENERGY LEGS[/b]! IT IS[b] YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU[/b]---wait, shit...[b]THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? [/b]
YOU WILL[b] RUIN YOUR K/D[/b] LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE[b] ADDICTED[/b] TO THE SWEET,[i] SWEET[/i] SOUND OF [b]INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH[/b]! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY [b]SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE [/b]AND IT WILL BE [b]WORTH IT[/b] WHEN YOU [b]KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT[/b] BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM![b] EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED [/b]AS[b] YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED[/b] AND HIS FAMILY[b] FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS[/b] TO [b]TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF[i] TEXAAAAAAS! [/i]
[/b]
[b]PEREGRINE[i] GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES[/i]!!![/b]
[b]EDIT:[/b] [b]YOU WILL KNEE TITANS PANIC-FISTING...and...[/b] shit. IT DOES [b]NOT END WELL[/b] IF "[b]UNSTOPPABLE[/b]" IS ACTIVE. THANKS, xSHIBBYx !
EDIT AGAIN: [b]I HAVE REVIEWED THE LORD OF WOLVES:[/b] https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/145107737/0/0
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I thoroughly enjoyed this
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see briar Rabbits new vid, I'm sure you will love it
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10/10 well done.
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Well done sir, this is right up there with a post about Invective a while back - you are one hell of a salesman, so I guess it's time to Max out my Greaves!
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You make me smile~
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Edited by SUPRSKILLZ: 8/6/2015 6:05:02 PMThe exact thing I felt when I smashed a blade dancer! Only kill I got all round, but soooo worth it! *edited to fix autocorrect*
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This.
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THIS IS MY FAVORITE POST IN ALL OF THE FORUMS
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Feral indeed.....Love the intensity! And as a Texan who runs a Titan with PG's, I can confirm all of the above. I also have a faggy goat Warlock though, so I guess I should keep the two separated...
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[b]MY TITAN HAS A LEGITIMATE ERECTION![/b][spoiler][b]AND SO DO I![/b][/spoiler]
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.....mine cause a slight swelling around my calves, but do little else? Do you by chance sell Oxy Clean products of Sham-wow on the side?
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Umm ok
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This post fvckin rules
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probably the best post this forum has ever seen... I will be equipping my PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAVESSSS!!! today! Beware!
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I declare this week the first annual SWEET KODIAC JUMPKICK TO THE F'CKING GOAT FACE WEEK. All Titans are required to wear their PEREGRINE GREAVES all day long, every day, for the whole god damn week!
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This shit needs to be trending right f*cking NOW!
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Brought to you straight from the desk of Mister Torgue.
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Man, this is pure, solid gold, right there!!! Read the whole thing with the voice of the immortal Mr. Torgue. Laughed so hard I cried!!!
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This reminded me so much of Mister Torgue haha
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Excellent post.
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[b]yay for yooooooooouuuuuuuuuu[/b]
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Bumping again so more people can witness the awesome here
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This is the best. There's nothing like the feeling when you know that you just made a bladedancer sunsinger or bubble boy rage the -blam!- out.
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YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
