"Hey guys, this is Bungie here again. Now, we know a lot of you have been calling out for the nerf of a particular gun, so we've decided to change some things in response to this.
[b]Auto Rifles[/b]
-All non-high Stability Auto Rifles will still be useless
-Damage increased, but good luck aiming that shit.
-New Monarchy Auto Rifles unaffected due to their batshit insane Stability and Range.
-Hard Light buffed
-Necrochasm no longer a useless piece of shit. Now its a useless piece of shit with slightly more Stability.
[b]Pulse Rifles[/b]
-All Pulse Rifles now do less damage and have less range. People were beginning to respond positively to the last fix we applied to them, so we've decided to mix things up just for shits and giggles.
[b]Scout Rifles[/b]
-Scout Rifles now do more damage. In PvE.
[b]Hand Cannons[/b]
-Magazine size, Range, Damage, and general usefulness of all Hand Cannons reduced. Enjoy your Beta stats.
-The Last Word's Range and Damage is reduced.
-Hawkmoon's Exotic Perk nerfed because nobody actually had an issue with Hawkmoon's power.
-Thorn's Damage technically increased, because -blam!- you.
[b]Shotguns[/b]
-We've noticed people enjoying these way too much in PvE, so we're nerfing them across the board. Damage, Range, and Magazine Size decreased in both PvP and PvE.
-Lord of Wolves Recovery Boost increased, because god knows it wasn't ridiculous enough as is.
[b]Fusion Rifles[/b]
-We haven't heard much about these since the last ridiculous nerf we applied to them, so we're going to decrease the Range and Accuracy on the ones that are actually still moderately decent.
[b]Sniper Rifles[/b]
-Final Round now only applies damage to precision shots.
-No Land Beyond's handling speed increased and sights updated.
-Ice Brea- Wait, the hell? Those last two patches actually improved stuff. Who the -blam!- came up with that stupid ass shit? Get somebody down to sandbox designing and fix that bullshit please. Anyway, back to what I was saying:
-Ice Breaker's recharge time increased, because it was actually being effective in the game and god knows that can't be allowed.
-Black Hammer's White Nail perk now draws ammo from the reserve ammunition for the same reason Ice Breaker's recharge time was increased.
[b]Rocket Launchers[/b]
-Area of Effect on all Rocket Launchers nerfe- I mean slightly increased.
-Gjallarhorn's Wolfpack Rounds perk nerfed. See Ice Breaker's and Black Hammer's patch notes for info as to why the change was made.
That's all for now, guys. See you next Thursday when we unveil another useless BWU where we show you pointless ass Machinima, talk about the power outlet next to my desk, and increase Thorn's damage by a factor of 10."
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Bump.