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OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
Edited by matrix100_x: 7/4/2015 4:35:57 PM
615

You must kill the person below you, but there's a catch.

You must kill the person below you, but here's the catch. You must do it creatively. Ready....GO!

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  • [b][u]200TH POST[/u][/b] One look at them, and they'd die.

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  • I'm going to twist their neck into a bust of Morgan Freeman, and the bust will narrate the rest of the persons life, but Morgan Freeman already does that

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  • Slowly become friends with this person. Then once I'm really good buds with this person, ask to have a nerd battle. Secretly make a nerd gun into a high powered blowtorch and melt the their hands off slowly melting the whole body.

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  • Neo I will take you into the woods and nail you to a tree, then practice my knife throwing on you. But since I suck at knife throwing I can just let out some ravenous, carnivorous animals and watch them eat you alive. :)

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    • Can I have some wine?

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      • I drug them with a nice dinner, then kidnap em, take them to my sub-basement, tie them up ,torture then heal them afterwards for 6 days straight, splat a pie with acid in his face and quietly watch his face melt while sipping a nice glass of red wine from my parents cabinet. :3

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        • I'll tie you to a chair starfish and force you to watch keeping up with the kardashian a until you die

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          • I let you die from old age

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          • I will strap you to the beach and wait for high tide to come in, then I will give you one straw to breathe with but i will pour ants into it.

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          • I 359 no scope him.

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          • I will tie him/her to a barrel Then I will roll him or her down a hill The barrel is filled with iron He/she dead

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          • first we drag the body out of the grave. only about 2 weeks old. still decomposing. it's gross and we lay it down legs spread on the ground. I get up on a platform about ten feet high as you put your mouth over the anus. I jump and drop the biggest elbow on the stomach squeezing the organs and waste out of the body into the anis and in the mouth. you swallow the mouthful and disgusting gruesome juicy body parts or waste. and if you don't pass out then I make you eat the rest of the body. until you grow sick. then I put the rest of the body in your mouth. you eat it. all. then you die. throwing up

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          • I make you live in a box. [spoiler]and that, is how you think outside the box.[/spoiler]

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          • I take an Xbox. I insert destiny. Then I make them play it until they commit suicide. Mwuahaha.

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            • Daddysnewtoy I will send a crow and a bald eagle to tag team you, pecking your eyes out and clawing out your intestines.

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            • lord of seagulls, i will use cloroform,drive 300 miles to rhode island, remove your left eye as a trophy, cover you in sardines, and let your brethren do the rest. *skips off into the sunset singing my little pony*

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            • Guardian Gary. I will lead you back into an alley where I have hidden a trap door. In that trap door there are killed snails that slowly cover you in their slime that eats your flesh away. You can't climb out because when you fell in you broke an arm and a leg. You can't call out cause I covered the hole with a big metal plate and then re-tarred it. You will either suffocate or be eaten by snails.

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            • Corner OBH in a dark stormy night, stalking him as he turns off his lights below and ascends with trepidation up the creaky stair case into the master bed room to freshen up for the cold dark lonely night, whose thunderous roars will every wooden nook and cranny creak veraciously into the night, squeezing chaos into the quiet sanctity of night. As this foul orchestra of sounds fester below, OBH shall be already tucked in bed, petrified to even move, fearful of even the slightest sound the cloth may make when it creases. I snake my way across the floor to the foot of his bed, growing ravenously agitated when each of his soft exhalations pierce the suspended silence. I wait until the snoring arrives. Then, just when he, or she, gets comfortable, I jump in the bed and choke him or her into unconsciousness. Then as OBH comes through, he'll realize he is tied to a chair bolted to the ground in the cellar. Only one dangling light sways within the foggy atmosphere swaying darkness into a smoky aurora broth. With a special contraption I devise using a system of pulleys and levers, his mouth will remain open. Then , as desperation seeps in, I take my pants and rip a gargantuan heavy foul and chunky splattering fart right into his mouth. As the finisher, I plop my balls down OBH's jerking and choking larynx, into the pharynx, blocking all air intake with my soggy calloused testicles. OBH is dead, I take his wife, his kids, and live his life. I die an old man in a rocking chair looking over a picturesque valley, and die peacefully, cupping my balls and ass gap victoriously.

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              • -Put insect in his/her ears -put some salt in his/her eyes and let it heal. -Buttman their face ;)

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              • 1
                Turn happicow into a giant burger. And then feed him to a bunch of fat neckbeards at arbys.

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              • Skin them, dip 'em in a vat of salt, cut off their limbs, boil them, make the person eat the limbs, then stab them and watch them bleed out.

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              • Melt da butter on ur pants, and when u slip, a black hole will open up underneath u and u will die

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              • Unleash a plastic pervert

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              • Give you to a guy addicted to Mexican food

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              • Edited by Xur's Thiccc Tentacles: 7/5/2015 10:17:59 PM
                I would feed you food that will slowly kill you over time, once you were sick I'd give you medicine to take care of this illnesses but they would create other illnesses that were worse than the original ones. Oh wait....

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              • Edited by Treebeard: 7/5/2015 10:16:08 PM
                Wait for them to sleep before lighting candles in their house. Next, I'll turn the gas oven and stove on and leave them open. Wait for explosion.

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