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#funny

originally posted in:The Exceptionals
Edited by TrustmeimLying2: 6/26/2015 3:33:03 AM
5

My beautiful girl, Destiny

Boys and girls. After over 700 hours and 200 raid clears, my time with Destiny is over. Destiny was a good girl to me, she was always there for me when I needed her and would be down to play for hours and hours at a time. We would go on long walks through black garden, go riding on the moon, and swimming in the shores of time. Everything seemed perfect since that fateful day in December when we met, but alas everything was not perfect. I knew she was not without error, she had her flaws. Her family was repetitively abusive, and her life story line was piss poor. Things like cutting her content that left marks on her wrists, and fighting over the bullshit nagging and lagging in crucible. We tried to compromise and she told me on Reddit that she would change and make things better, in fact even Game informer and other friends of hers told me that things will get better in time and just to wait. It didn't matter to me anyway, even with all of the glitches and Crota misshaps I still loved her. F#%K- the haters. One thing you did not know about my girl Destiny is that she was very very deviant. She liked to play the dominatrix role in our relationship and liked to wear a strap-on in bed. I remember the first time she strapped me in my Dark Below back in December. She yelled at me and said "GIVE ME YOUR F@#KING MONEY." As an aroused young boy looking at her sexy curves and gun designs, I conceded my money and she -blam!-ed me in the ass. It was painful, but a good kind of painful because I knew I was making my girl happy. In May she told me that she was going to change and let me be in control for once. I said okay this is great, shes finally giving me a say in our relationship. That night in bed was fantastic, things were finally going to change! I was so happy, until the very next morning when she told me, "HAHA jk, bend the F%^K over and give me your money, this is my house of wolves bitch" and I obeyed; it was like same story all over again, just backwards with scorch cannons. Now it is june and we are 700 hours into our raid time together and I find her phone on the ground in my house. Shes in the bathroom so I take a look to see what shes been up to. To my surprise I find a text conversation with one of her "Co-Workers" "Luke Smith." They went on about things like "collectors edition strap-ons," "Foreign currency manipulation strap-on," "Planned obsolescence" and "The Taken King big black strap-on." Turns out that my girl Destiny never loved me to begin with and she was actually a whore for Daddy Luke and his grand hustle crew AKA "bungie", and just F#$KED my ass for my money. Bitch never loved me. :( So tonight I'm breaking up with Destiny. She was a lot of fun and I will never regret the time we spent together, in fact I'm keeping her number in my phone in case she decides to come clean for a nice hate-F%@K, but for now- it is the summer, and I have careers to pursue and REAL women to chase. Destiny is one of the best games I've ever played and really, if it were not for real life things I would probably keep playing. I hoped you liked my story, I tried to make this as entertaining as possible. Please feel free to -blam!- the shit out of my girl Destiny for what she did to me. This clan was one of the best I've ever been in- Ivo is a hell of a leader good luck, and we'll talk sometime! Legend out

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