I was level 21
I loved xur so much
I had all the strange exotics and curios
I prayed to xur every night thanking him for my exotics
Xur is love I said xur is life
My vanguard heard me and called me a fаggot
I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to xur
I called him a сunt
He slaps me and sends me to go rank up my vanguard rank
I'm crying now and out of strange coins
A cool darkness moves behind me
It's XUR!!!
He makes me the happiest man alive
He says to me "please me mortal"
He grabs me with his powerful agent hands
I am ready
I spread my аss cheeks for xur
He penetrates my butthole with his gjallarhorn
I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes begin to water
He screams a mighty scream as he filled my butt with his chatterwhite
My vanguard comes in just as xur finishes
He looks him straight in the eyes and says
"The darkness has consumed you"
Xur jumps off the ledge near the spawn point and flys away
Xur is love
Xur...
...IS
.......LIFE
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