*Glub Glub*

*glub*

*Glubs Glubbily*

*glubs you glubbingly*

It waz a warm dey. Nut a fkin bird was talkin sheit. Except 4 big burd cuse he's teh local nàzi. Jgf waz welkin wen suddenly he saw sumtin dat shoked him and his dik of curse y dafuq nut. It waz a gurl, a beeutiful an hawt gurl. She h4d big bubs, noice ass and a nice dress. Jgf walkd ovur der 2 relize..... dat gurl waz non other dan cattie. I man teh fk up and stertin telkin 2 cattie. "Bonjoir ma n1g" i seid in a Spanish accent. I waz swetin moar dan a whore in church. "Hiihihihi" she just giggl3d.. "Gotcha beetch" i seid in mai hed as i smiled Meh and deh busty cattie telkd about tecnologeh and sheit. It was interestin but nut dat interistin. Is gettin quiet hawt heer isnt it mah leidy? Cattie agreed. I suggistid 2 go 2 mai aparment to relese deh kraken. "Lets goh 2 mai apar-" i waz cut, wtf bruh relly, in mai own fkin storeh? "Lits go 2 hooters" cattie seid. Holeh jesus, dis gurl wanted meh 2 goh 2 flavortown We gut in her car. My man meeter went daown cuse cattie was driv3n. Dis s hows iz liek 2 beh misoginist huh? Gg. We had teh usual telk in teh c4r bout wat we wantid to beh wen groe up."Cattie we alredy hav jobs, wtf" i seid cse were 28 ffs. "I know but just glub it out jgf". Glub? Glub?! Glub urself mei ledy. Im bein noice heer. We arrived at h00t3rs. I sat daown. Fk i 4got 2 pull her cheir! I stand up butt hit mai erectid mass agisnt teh taebleh. "-blam!-" I screemed. Cattie waz laughin an glubbin teh sheit out of meh wit her ph0an. Butt once she saw mai bungolow in mai p4nts it waz ovur. She was gonn taek it liek noiselesspurse taeks xbuxdotcums b8. Jgf... r u... r u ok? Cattiez cheek waz red as KC's ass wen badgur beet him'4 nukin. Yus im fien, lits just go 2 mai plaec cuse im not feelin diddlerino. She grebd meh an tossd meh in her c4r. Thirsty.exe mush? We went aproxxamtly 420mph. She parkd on top off 20 shitp0sts. I am redy. I putt icy hawt on mai dik and rub 1 out. Teh chaenge frum hawt 2 kwool waz i liek 2 kall teh global warmin evint. Cattie waitid 4 meh in mai bedrum. Cheeks steel red, damn tomatoe lmao, ketchup meh pls. Anyweys, i caem out supriesd cuse cattie waz in mai rum. Oi m8 wtf?! Im so srry!. I dont know how i waz gunn git out of dis situatioon. "Cattie furgiv meh pls!" I seid nervus cuse no one has seen mai testis other dan mai mum. "Dont worry jgf.... I always wanted this moment..." holeh fk gais im gitting pussi. Go down into teh cmmunts an call meh a fgt cuse i knoe ur jelli bois! "Catt-" i waz cut agin in mai own fkin storeh. "No words jgf, only glubs now" she seid dis whil puttin her finger in ma mouth 2 silence meh. Cattie started undressin meh, i undress her as well. H3r lucious tatas and noic tite kitty, is liek a comb0 frum burger king butt 4 desperste t33ns. She proceded 2 succ me off. I waz shiverin. Is it possible dat i steel hav sum calcium protein filld milk left in teh pakage? I blush becuse fk dat, i aint no pusii. She started lickin teh tip. It waz too mush, i needid 2 becum 1 with teh cattie. I tipped mai fedora frum amazon an proceded to gently rub catties hoel "Glub, glub! Glub! Glub!!!!" Cattie waz litterally fkin glubbin rite nao, dis is nut a joek man. I nevur fingered b4. I waz just fkin around down der. Liek if i iwaz solvin a rubiks cube or sumtin. Deh moment haz cum(pun xDDDDDD) I gentleh tochd catties va jey jey wit mai lego. We wer connectin liek a puzzle "Santa maria!" I seid in mai mind as i kan feel catties warm kitty walls on mai mage staff. I thrusted liek haylo 5's thruster, onleh difference iz dat it wasnt dissapointin az 343. I kan heer mai wallnuts slammin catties bum hoal. I am no longer beta. I hav achieved alpha dominance. Teh missioanry position iz de way 2 go guys always remember, k? I immediatl started humpin teh fk out of cattie. Her booty felt liek jell0. Butt wayy bettir. After 30 minuts of wat seem liek a cheep porno frum brazzers. I exploded insied off cattie. "Oh my glub!!!!!" She yelled. I did it gais. I hav succeded. "Im heer nao.." i seid. Cattie confused, she ask me were i waz. I laufd. Cattie was werin her noice dress. I waz laufin cuse i waz heer to gain mai throne as teh fresh prince of bel-air.

Or be careful who you trust at any rate.

Trust me. I'm a doctor.

[quote]Trust no one. *glub*[/quote] Fixd

[quote][quote]Trust no one. *glub*[/quote] Fixd[/quote]

Don't neglect the balls?

Wat?

Balls as in deez nuts.

In me I trust.

No.

Yes.