It is true. They can only perform against set AI characters and are incapable of functioning in a highly unpredictable environment like the crucible. You should all just quit. The only way to earn stuff in this game is PvP. Git gud skrubs.
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Satire: — noun the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule. a literary genre comprising such compositions. Yep...not satire.