Greet him and offer him some hot chocolate. I will secretly put laxatives in the hot chocolate, and lots of them. Once he drinks it and rushes to the bathroom I will grab a bat and wait for him to be done. Once he comes out I whack him round the head when he's least expecting it and knock him out cold. I'll stuff him in the rubbish bin outside and wake him in the morning by pouring freezing water on his head. That, along with the aching from being in an awkward position for hours should leave him in enough shock and pain to answer my question: "How'd you get in?"