I cal myself a useless f'ker!!! As I cacade gently down the rocks on VOG before creating a pool of blood at the bottom or "sh1t b'stard" if I am waxed by the supplicants!!! Sometimes I'll hear "who", "me" is the response. Self deprecating Brits :) unless there ladies or kids present and the tone is "useless swine" or "bugger!" Which isn't ideal either but the kids kind of don't know about buggery so I think I'm safe :)