I have no motivation to do anything. There's no job I want that's feasible, I'm failing half of my classes for the year, and I can't help it. It's like my mind filters out things it considers irrelevant or unimportant, I can never remember or understand Spanish, chemistry, etc. I know if I keep neglecting school I'm going to have a lifetime of struggle but I just can't change no matter how hard I try. I'm not looking for pity I just want to write out I'm destined to fail, and have felt that way for years. Nothing makes me happy but music and my friends I've known for years. Just when I thought I knew how things would end up my long-term girlfriend left me with little to no obvious cause, and I'm back at square one. My biggest fear is ending up like my dad. He's a supposed bleeding heart Christian who got two women pregnant in one night stands, does nothing but play video games at almost the age of 50, and has slowly became more and more ignorant from working at a dead-end job at a grocery store for over a decade stacking fruit on a shelf every day. It's damn pathetic. I just don't want to be a complete failure like him but feel it is inevitable. Sorry for the ramble.