I have the straightest dick on the planet. It's not the longest or the thickest but that bitch is straight. No degree of curve whatsoever, 90 degrees right off the body. Forgot your protractor in geometry? I got you. Need to level out that new picture on the wall? I'm on my way. Need to navigate the high seas? Shit could be a sextant. Calibration on your phone's accelerometer is off? Set it on the D.