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Edited by ItsOnlyElo:
4/17/2016 7:55:07 PM
460
REALLY CHEESY PUN&JOKE CONTEST
Winner gets satisfaction of winning.
This can consist of punny jokes and just puns
Jokes no longer need to consist of a pun!
-To the people saying how isn't this in offtopic, it's was destiny based.-
Edit 1: Over 100 jokes keep them coming
Edit 2: Over 200 jokes!
Edit 3: Over 300 jokes, keep them coming!
Edit 4: Over 500 jokes!
Edit 5: Over 700 jokes!!! We are trending!!!
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1 ReplyI would tell you a Destiny pun, but... [spoiler][b][i]I'm Xûr you heard them all[/i][/b][/spoiler]
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2 RepliesFluffy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair [spoiler]Fuzzy wuzzy has cancer[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyWhat's long, hard and has cum in it [spoiler]a cucumber[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesA blind guy walks into a bar... [spoiler]and a table[/spoiler] [spoiler]and a wall[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesWhat do you call a Guardian on her period? [spoiler]Red Death[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyWhy did the chicken cross the road? [spoiler]it didn't. The road suffers from vidvid visual hallucinations. THERE WAS NO CHICKEN (or spoon)[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyA blind man takes a trip to Texas. He has been blind all his life so he is used to it. He goes to a hotel restaurant and orders a steak. The waiter brings him a steak the size of the table. When the blind man begins to fathom the size of the steak, he asks the waiter, "waiter, why is my steak so large?" The waiter replies, "Everything is bigger in Texas." After eating a good portion of the steak, the blind man orders a beer to wash it down. The waiter brings him a two gallon mug of beer. When the blind man fathoms this, he asks, "Waiter, why is my beer so large?" The waiter simply replies, "Everything is bigger in Texas." After drinking some of the beer, the blind man asks the waiter where the bathroom is. The waiter tells him, "Around the corner, turn right, up the stairs and go straight. Can't miss it." The blind man follows these instructions, but turns left, entering the pool area. He walks up the diving board, walks off, then starts shouting, "Don't flush! Don't flush!" [spoiler]tl;dr blind man goes to Texas, orders massively oversized meal, told everything is bigger in Texas, takes wrong turn to toilet, ends up falling off diving board, thinking pool is toilet starts yelling not to flush it (everything is bigger in Texas)[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyWhy didn't Hitler drink whisky? Because it made him mean.
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1 ReplyIf the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they’d be alloys.
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1 ReplyI said glass of juice not gas the Jews
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2 Replies1) What did the Kamakaze pilot say to his students? [spoiler]Watch carefully, I'm only going to do this once...[/spoiler] [spoiler]Probably going to go to hell for that one...[/spoiler] 2) Wear short sleeve shirts! Support your right to bare arms. 3) Don't worry, I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. 4) A police officer tried to pull me over for not having my rear-view mirror, but I couldn't see him.
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1 Replydon't hate me for this what does michael jackson have in common with a big mac[spoiler]30yr old meat between 10yr old buns[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesI had a German plumber come in to fix a leaky pipe. He accidentally attached my gas line to my shower. [spoiler]I guess old habits die hard[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyWhy dont warlocks have exotic legs? [spoiler]they get carried through everything anyway[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyA blonde goes to see her Doctor. "My skin hurts!" She says. "Can you show me where?" Asks the Doctor. "Here, here, here, here and here" says the blonde, pointing to various parts of her body. "Hmmmm yes, it appears you've got a broken finger" announces the Doctor.
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2 RepliesDismantle puns, yeeeessssss?
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Why did Batman climb a tree? [spoiler]To find Robin[/spoiler]
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Fusion rifles OP plz NERF *end of pun* (or is it?)😏
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2 RepliesI posted this earlier, and I will post it again. [quote]War isn't about who is right... it's about who is left.[/quote]
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2 RepliesFun fact: Warframe has an alternate helmet for the Oberon class called Oryx. Oberon, in some forms of old literature, is the name of the king of the fairies. Oryx, the Taken King...of the fairies.
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1 ReplyWhat can turn a fruit in to a vegetable. [spoiler]aids[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesEdited by H4rdc0reMack: 4/17/2016 3:16:01 AMNo pun, but What's faster than the speed of light? [spoiler]A Jew with a coupon[/spoiler] What's faster than that? [spoiler]A Nasi bullet[/spoiler] [spoiler]Pretty sure I'm going to go to hell for this shiet lol[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyOnce a lady got a pair of wooden breast implants.. This joke would be funny if it had a punch line, wooden tit
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1 Reply[i]All the good ones are [b]Taken[/b]... [/i] Yatta,yatta! Lynch me now!
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1 ReplyWhat do you call a sunbreaker with lag = lag breaker (I'll stop)
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1 ReplyEdited by beedel: 4/17/2016 4:37:23 AMWhat do call a man with no arms and no legs... ....floating in water? Bob ....in front of a door? Mat ....in a pot? Stew ....in a hole? Phil ....hanging on a wall? Art What do call two men with no arms and no legs hanging on a window? Curt and Rod
