U suk

Your grimore

Your mothers a hoe, and I know cause I done it wif her.

You're an excellent person. I'm sorry I don't know how to play the game.

Standing there all cool, giving me those 'aftershave commercial' eyes. -blam!- you. And -blam!- your drawings. (I'm just joking, I can't be nasty, you look like the type of guy I'd enjoy a beer with...and you would enjoy a beer with me, well because I'm bigger than you, so you'd have no choice. Id tell you stories of my youth and then you'd share yours. We'd laugh together for many hours, then I'd realise how emotionally ruined I am and cry on your shoulder while you awkwardly sit there, wondering why this 210lbs, 6ft2 machine of a man is crying so hard. Well it's because I have no friends, and I need the company. But then I'd realise my tears make me appear weak and will not get me my seat in Valhalla, with my mighty father Odin. And then we'd have another beer.)

You have a bad personality

Your mother smells of elderberry and your father was a hamster.

Your beard sucks.

I have a better PvP k/d than you. Feel bad.

you looked like a kid who never found his way out the emo phase in middle school.

It was a stormy day in may, i was playing the level 35 prison of elders and we were fighting Skolas, this was our last attempt... We had exhausted all our heavy ammo synthesis in the previous rounds and and were making one last daring attempt. We had Skolas down to 50% health when i heard a loud thunder strike outside. "NO!" i screamed but it was too late the red and grey bar had appeared at the bottom of my screen. "Attempting to reconnect." It read. "Get gud scrub" It thundered all around me, outside and inside the game. Lighting flashed all around my house blinding me, when i regained my vision this is what i saw: "SmoggyPluto has joined your fireteam." I frantically checked my screen and sure enough he was there in our fireteam, 4 in our fireteam... He spawned in with a monstrous roar that turned to a low chuckle... "not today." he said. He ran to my unmoving glitching form; my teammates screaming overwhelmed with adds. He spawned a bubble that gave us both weapons and blessing of light. I was astounded but knew that i would not last long enough... I was going to disconnect... When suddenly SmoggyPluto reached through my screen and grabbed the disconnect bar... I couldn't believe what was happening. He grabbed the bar as if it was a stick, pulled it off my screen and loaded it into his Gjallarhorn, He then jumped into the sky, a quartic jump, 5 JUMPS, he got so high he absorbed the sun and then in one swoop shot the disconnect bar into Skolas tearing him apart into nothing. The wolfpack rounds then proceed to swarm and destroy the mines we were supposed to dismantle He stayed with us all the way to the treasure room but did not speak. Finally he urinated on the large chest and turned to us and said "become legend gaurdian." SmoggyPluto has left your fireteam speechless me and my fireteam all opened the pee-stained chest... We all received 3 Gjallarhorns... One void, one arc, and one solar, all already fully maxed

You look cute today.

You're probably a pretty cool guy, I'm sure you smell good, and you probably have a beautiful girlfriend. I love you bro.

Youre probably the kind of kid that sits in the back of class drawing MLP porn or anime characters then when people make fun of you, you would come back and shoot up the school for bullying you