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4/22/2014 1:56:40 AM
90
Stories about being Bullied.
*THE POINT: If you have ever been bullied by somebody in school, please share if you would like to.*
When I was in School, I was not a really sociable person. I was very shy, and kinda insecure about myself. Naturally I became a target for the narrow minded children of that time. Outside of the usual name calling, I was beaten, pushed down, de-humanized, and down right treated like an animal.
When I was in 8th grade a kid walked up to me and just started punching me in the face. I don't know why to this day, it was horrifying watching a circle forming around you with about 30 other kids screaming, and laughing. It felt like being a pit with a giant spot light directly on you. And there is absolutely nothing that you can do to get out of it.
On top of that, I was constantly told that I was worthless. I was nothing more than a waste of meat and I would always be that way. Now, I know that is not true--but at that time, when you're told that enough--you start to believe it. I dreaded going back to school, I looked for ANY excuse to stay home. I cried myself to sleep many nights, hoping and praying that it would all just go away. So that I could fade into obscurity, and recover what was left of my soul.
But still, it came. And the more I stood by and did nothing, the worse it got. There were times where I fought back and won. I was proud of myself, but then it came right back again.
My school could do nothing. All they could do was put them in suspension, or call their parents. But that just made things worse, either their parents whispering in their ear, or a misplaced sense of revenge cause them to lash back.
...By that time, I have had enough of it. I wanted it all to end in one fail swoop.
When I was in 9th grade, I was planning to kill myself. I had it all planned out, I would leave a long note beside me, take lots of painkillers (or whatever there was) and just drift away overnight.
There I was, seconds away from popping the first pill. Then something happened, everything around me faded and I saw something. It was like a voice in a cold silence and it spoke to me.
It told me that "this is not how you will end. There is much more to life than what you're feeling now. You will go on, have a blessed life, you will have a family, a loving wife, children, and everything that you have experienced will have no hold over you anymore."
I dont know why I believed it, but I did. I put those things away and believed it.
____________________________
Now here I am. Almost a decade later, I am graduating college, I am getting married this June to my absolute Best Friend ever!
...And absolutely NONE of the things that I have gone through have held me back once. I was so afraid of life here, that I was willing to cut it short. It was but a fragment of the life that I will live. If somebody tells you that you're nothing, they are wrong! You're a human, your life has meaning! Let NOBODY on this planet tell you otherwise.
Because somebody out there loves you.
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1 ReplyEdited by Sandtrap: 4/22/2014 5:46:17 PMI have many stories. All of them too long to share. But they all played a key roll in my younger life, shaping me to become the distrusting person that I was, and, for the most part, still am. The big, big one was my cousin. Long story short, there was some family troubles. I thought my cousin was a good friend. And then one day that was proved otherwise. I was never touched or beaten up in a physical sense, because I was always a big kid for my age. And if pushed around, I would fight back. I only ever had one physical fight, and that was enough to show that I wasn't up for being pushed around in that manner. A lot of anger sitting under the surface, and for the poor soul who presses the wrong buttons, I blow up in their face. I don't care whatsoever. Everything wrong that ever happened to me comes out and I focus it all on one point. But I'm not a fighter by nature, and I don't enjoy hurting people. Easy going, and because of that, slow to fight back. So, after physical options were crossed off the list, it was mental. And mental torment was the weak spot because of all the various things I'd been through up to that point. And, sadly, I was a bit of one too. I was never physical, not even overly harsh. But I was a reflection of what I was recieving. "Bullying" in some sense has a heiarchy. The kids at the top go for the ones lower down. And the ones lower down, go for kids even lower on the ladder. The only difference was, as I grew older, I tracked down every last person I ever wronged, and apologized to them for every bad day I ever gave them.
